Spin the bottle
by RubinAmigo
Summary: AU Sam is in college, Dean is a mechanic. He goes to a college party with Sam and there he meets Castiel Novak. Something happens that confuses Dean a lot and he has to learn how to deal with these new feelings. Destiel. Rating changed to M now.
1. Chapter 1

**Since I can't really seem to come with any stories about the new Cas I decided to try my hand at an AU story. I' usually not into AU's very much, but this idea wouldn't leave me alone. I hope it's any good.**

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><p>"Oh, Sammy, come on. There's a party tonight and you didn't tell me about it? I'm totally coming with you." Dean Winchester was sitting in his brother's dorm room, reading the flyer about the college party he had just found on Sam's desk under a pile of papers.<p>

"But you won't know anyone there and I'm sure it'll be really boring." Sam tried to discourage his older brother. He couldn't believe Dean had found the flyer. Sam had thought he had hidden it well enough. When Dean came to a party it almost always ended in a disaster. With terrible hangovers and memory loss. But now that Dean knew about it there was nothing Sam could do to keep him from coming.

"I'm coming over after closing the garage for tonight. This will be fun." Dean was already excited. College parties were perfect to meet hot chicks and he was usually pretty popular with the ladies. So after finishing at the garage where he worked as a mechanic and cleaning up to make himself presentable he returned to his brother's dorm room and together they went to the party a couple of floors below.

There were quite a few people already there and Sam and Dean mingled, enjoying the music and the drinks. There were plenty of pretty girls around and Dean was soon surrounded. Later, when the alcohol level had considerably risen, someone suggested a game of 'spin the bottle'. Dean immediately jumped at the chance of kissing lots of hot chicks. Sam didn't want to participate at first, but Dean quickly convinced him.

The game went very well. There was a lot of kissing as well as a lot of drinking, since they had decided that same sex couples didn't have to kiss if the person who spun the bottle didn't want to. In that case both persons involved had to drink a shot. This resulted in all the guys slowly getting very drunk while the girls mostly just kissed each other, teasing the guys that way.

The game was attracting a lot of other party guests who either joined the game or just stood around the growing circle and watched and cheered. Then one of the girls spun the bottle and it stopped pointing at a small gap in the circle between two people. The girl looked at both of them, another girl and a guy and then she looked beyond the circle.

A guy was leaning against the wall, quietly watching the game. He had dark, unruly hair, deep blue eyes and he seemed to be deep in thought.

"Hey, Cas. Get over here and kiss me!" the girl called out. The guy, whose name appeared to be Cas, looked up and tilted his head in a silent question.

"But I'm not playing." he answered confused.

"Now you are. The bottle chose you." the girl insisted and all the other girls cheered, trying to convince him. They all seemed to be thrilled about the chance to maybe get to kiss him. Cas shrugged and came forward. He took his time checking out every participant of the game, his eyes lingering on Dean. At least that's what it felt like to him, but that was probably just his imagination or the alcohol or both. Finally Cas sat down in the circle and leaned forward to kiss the girl.

Then it was his turn to spin the bottle and before he did that he again looked around at all the players as if he was trying to decide where he wanted the bottle to stop. And this was actually exactly what he did. He checked out the girls, there were quite a few he liked, but the person who really caught his eye was in fact a guy.

Cas thought that he was Sam's older brother Dean. Sam had talked about him a lot. His brother had practically raised him after their Mom had died and their Dad was gone for weeks to work. Dean was really important for Sam and just from looking at him Cas thought that this Dean was someone special. He really wouldn't mind if the bottle pointed at him.

Cas took the bottle and spun it with determination. The bottle was spinning fast and turned and turned before it finally slowed down. Everybody was watching intently as the bottle got even slower and stopped to point right at Dean. For a moment it was quiet and then people started to cheer and tell Cas that he should definitely choose the kiss over the shot.

Cas pretended to think about it, then he shrugged and got up on his knees, much to Dean's horror, who hadn't expected this at all.

"Kiss, kiss, kiss!" the people around them shouted.

"It's what they want." Cas said as an explanation to tell Dean that there really was nothing he could do. Dean tried to find a way out, but there was nothing he could do without losing his face. Reluctantly he leaned toward Cas, thinking that he had had enough alcohol already to be able to handle a quick peck.

But Cas had a different idea about this kiss and when their lips touched he grabbed the back of Dean's head and pulled him closer to really kiss the guy, with everyone else clapping and cheering. After a few seconds he let go of a shocked Dean, who slowly sat back down and immediately downed another shot.

After this kiss Dean quickly abandoned the game and drowned his confusion in alcohol. The kiss hadn't been bad. In fact it had been really good. Dean had enjoyed it and it confused him very much. He didn't know how to deal with this, so he decided to just ignore what couldn't be and seek oblivion in a bottle.

The next morning Dean woke up on the floor of a small room, feeling miserable. Seeing his brother sitting on the small bed in the room didn't help. Usually Dean woke up next to some chick after a college party like last night. He couldn't remember what had happened that had made him crash in his brother's dorm room.

After supplying him with coffee Sam was happy to help his older brother with his memory problems. It was just too good not to.

"Well, we played 'spin the bottle' last night. You enjoyed yourself very much." Sam started.

"Okay, but that doesn't explain what the hell I'm doing in your room."

"You got pretty smashed after you stopped playing, after you'd had to kiss Cas. I could hardly get you up the stairs into my room. Then you fell asleep on the floor right there and I just left you there." Sam explained the events of the past night.

"I kissed who?" Dean asked curiously.

"Cas, Castiel Novak. He lives just down the hall. English major I think. Smart, quiet, always there when you need his help. He spun the bottle and it pointed to you. You two kissed, then you got up and got completely wasted." Sam grinned as he watched Dean's expression change while he told the story.

"I don't believe you." Dean declared, after listening to Sam. "I don't remember anything from last night; you're just making stuff up to fuck with me. I'm leaving now."

Dean got up, put on his worn leather jacket and left the room to get back to his small apartment next to the garage where he worked. Walking down the hall he saw a few faces he remembered from the beginning of the party. When he turned the corner to get to the stairs he almost ran into another guy. He was a bit shorter than Dean, had dark hair and very blue eyes.

"Good morning, Dean." the guy smiled and looked Dean right in the face.

As he looked into those bottomless pools of blue that were Castiel's eyes, he suddenly remembered everything that had happened and everything he had felt and thought. Dean's eyes widened in shock and without saying a word he pushed past Castiel and hurried down the stairs, leaving behind a very disappointed and slightly confused Cas.

Dean didn't slow down until he had reached his apartment. He immediately got the bottle of whiskey from the kitchen cabinet and poured himself a generous amount. He didn't want to remember the party anymore and he was determined to forget it again, with the help of copious amounts of alcohol if necessary. Whatever it took he was willing to do.

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><p><strong>So, what did you think? Should I continue? I'm really not sure about this, so please review.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited and alerted for this story. I love you all, you guys are amazing. I was simply blown away by the response I've been getting. So here is your reward: chapter 2, enjoy. I only hope I can fulfill your expectations**.

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><p>The additional alcohol hadn't helped. Dean hadn't been able to forget the party and especially Castiel again. If anything this blue-eyed stranger was on his mind even more, now that he was trying so hard to forget him. Every time he closed his eyes he saw the guy, how he'd leaned against the wall watching the game at the party or how he'd greeted Dean in the hall the next morning. Thankfully the kiss was not among those memories. Oh, great now there it was. His brain was just awesome like that, Dean thought miserably.<p>

The ringing of his phone interrupted his bleak thoughts. He hurried to pick it up, because the shrill ringtone really hurt his head this morning. It was his second hangover in as many days and just one was from a party. This was not good. Taking a deep breath he answered the phone. It was Sam.

"Dean, how are you? Is everything okay?" Sam asked at once.

"Yeah, sure, why wouldn't it be?" Dean asked back, trying to sound as normal as possible.

"It's two o'clock in the afternoon. I've been trying to reach you for hours. Don't you ever check your messages?"

"I'm fine. I was just sleeping." Dean told his little brother, checking his watch to see if it was really that late already. Though sleep wasn't exactly the right word for his earlier condition. It had been more like an alcohol induced coma, but Sam didn't need to know that.

"I don't believe you. I'm coming over." Sam decided, not buying his brother's explanation. Damn him and his perceptiveness, Dean thought, resigned.

"Alright." Dean sighed. "But bring some food then, will ya?"

"Sure thing. See you in a few."Sam hung up then and Dean decided to take a shower while he waited. Maybe a shower could make him feel a little more like a human being again.

The shower did help, but the food that Sam brought really did the trick. There was nothing like a bacon-cheeseburger to fight the effects of a hangover for Dean. Luckily Sam knew his brother very well, so in situations like these their roles were reversed and it was Sam who took care of Dean, just like Dean had taken care of him while they had been kids.

When Dean felt better the brothers just spent the afternoon talking about everything except the party and Castiel. Sam was glad to see that is brother was okay and he told him about college and the scholarship for law school he was trying to get. They also talked about their Dad since his birthday was coming up, but they couldn't figure out what to do for his birthday just yet. But there was still time and they would think of something eventually.

All in all it was a nice, relaxed Sunday afternoon and by the time Sam announced he should leave soon to still have some time to study, Dean had not once thought about the party anymore. But it didn't stay that way; that would have been too good to be true.

"Cas came to see me yesterday." These few words were enough to ruin Dean's good mood and make him glare at his brother. He got up and was about to leave the room and let Sam find the way out on his own, when Sam spoke again.

"Just listen to me first, alright?" Sam quickly said and Dean reluctantly stopped and sat back down again.

"Okay, I'm listening." he said in a not at all encouraging tone, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"He wanted to talk to you, but he thought that you might just close the door in his face." Sam started and Dean had to admit that Cas' assumption about his reaction to such a visit was probably pretty damn accurate.

"He just wanted to apologize to you. He asked me to give you this." Sam handed Dean a sealed letter with Dean's name written on the front in a beautiful print. Dean briefly looked at the letter than put it down on the table. He had no intention of opening it in front of Sam, if he should open it at all.

Sam was curious to find out what Cas had written, but when it became obvious that Dean wasn't going to open the letter anytime soon he sighed and got up to leave. He really did have to study some more that night and maybe he'd run into Cas again and could get some more information out of him. It was unlikely though. Cas was always there to help when you needed him and Sam considered him a friend. Not a very close one, but a friend nonetheless. But Cas was very quiet and reserved and didn't really talk about himself much. It was hard to know what he was thinking.

When he reached the door Sam turned to his brother once more. "Hey, Dean, do me a favor. Please read the letter before you throw it away, okay? Cas is good guy, he deserves to be at least heard, or in this case, read."

Dean considered this for a moment then nodded once in agreement. How bad could it be to read the letter. It was enough to satisfy Sam and he left Dean alone in his small apartment. Dean picked the letter up again and turned it over in his hands. He couldn't open it just yet and now he couldn't simply throw it away and forget about it either. There was no way he'd break a promise to Sammy.

But he hadn't promised to read the letter right away, so he put it on top of a pile of magazines where it could stay until the right time to read it was there. For now he decided to just ignore it and he turned on the TV and found a zombie movie. He had already seen it before but it was just what he needed right now.

For a few days he managed to ignore the letter quite well, although it got harder and harder each day. The letter just sat there on the stack of magazines and every day Dean would see it and feel a little bit guiltier about not having read it yet. Then, one day after coming home from work, Dean couldn't bear it any longer and he picked up the letter and sat down with it.

Carefully he opened the envelope and pulled out the neatly folded sheet of paper. When he unfolded the paper he saw that the letter was actually handwritten. For some reason he hadn't expected this, it made the whole letter so much more personal. For a moment he just stared at the words that were written in a very clear and even handwriting, and then he started to read.

_Dean,_

_I want to apologize for last Friday night. It was not my intention to make you uncomfortable. I should have paid better attention to your reaction and chosen the shot instead. I am sorry, that was entirely my fault. But a few drinks and the atmosphere, with all the other participants of the game encouraging me, made me choose the kiss and I regret that this choice forced you to do something you didn't want. It was only a game, even though I have to admit that I had almost hoped for the bottle to point at you. _

_But it was only a game and I am willing to forget what happened if that is what you prefer. It will never be mentioned again after this letter. Maybe, should we meet again, we can make a fresh start as friends. _

_~ Castiel Novak_

Dean let his hand holding the letter sink down onto the table. He had managed to hardly think about the blue-eyed stranger during the last couple of days and he hadn't expected the letter to change that. He had thought the letter would be some kind of apology and offer to forget what happened, which it was, but it also was a lot more. And now the author of the letter was undeniably back in his thoughts.

Cas had admitted that he had wanted to kiss Dean, but he was willing to just let it go and pretend it never happened, if Dean so wished. That was amazing and very unexpected and Dean didn't know what to do now. He didn't even know what he felt now, after reading the letter. He wasn't good at dealing with feelings and this was way out of his comfort zone.

It was only a game, Cas had written. Only a game, nothing important. If only, Dean thought. If only it was so easy.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks again to everyone for all the reviews and the support. This story is a lot of fun to write and I'm happy that it seems to be fun to read as well. Alright, here is chapter 3, introducing a new 'character'.**

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><p>The letter had shaken Dean more than he was ready to admit. After reading it he had called Sam simply to let him know that he had kept his promise. Sam could tell Cas if he wanted, Dean didn't care, or did he? He didn't know himself anymore. He was confused and he needed time to think about what this meant. And this fact confused him even more, because really, he was straight, right? So why did he need time to think about a letter some dude had written him. It should be clear and easy, except that it wasn't.<p>

Since he didn't know how to deal with it he just ignored it all. Even though Castiel had offered to forget about the party and be just friends, Dean didn't know if that would work, if that would be right. So for the time being he just ignored it all, hoping the situation would just resolve itself.

Although he didn't really have many friends he didn't necessarily feel the need for new ones. He had his work and he had Sammy and when he felt lonely he could always go to a bar to find company for a night. He didn't need this blue-eyed stranger, who still kept invading his thoughts, try as he might to avoid it.

But Dean had a strategy to keep himself occupied, to make sure he had no time for any confusing and difficult thoughts. He decided to start on a project he'd been thinking about for a while now and made the necessary call.

"Hey, Bobby, remember the project I talked to you about a couple of months ago? Do you have anything for me?" Dean asked into the phone, hoping for a positive answer.

"As it happens I do have something that might interest you. Why don't you come on over and take a look?" Bobby Singer, an old family friend, told him.

"Awesome, I'll do that." Dean replied and immediately left for Bobby's auto salvage yard.

Bobby was already waiting for him when he arrived and led him right to the back of the yard where a wreck of a car was standing. Dean examined the wreck carefully, walking around it several times and checking it from every angle.

"She's perfect." he finally stated when he was done with his inspection.

"She?" Bobby asked. Dean just shrugged and looked at the car again.

"She's a beauty. At least she will be when I'm done with her." he smiled at the wreck. He was already in love with the car and in this case he had no problem admitting to that.

"She's a 1967 Chevrolet Impala. I'll have her towed to your garage if you want."

Dean nodded. "Thanks Bobby." He stayed at Bobby's for a little while longer to catch up with the man who was his Dad's best friend. Later on his way home he was already looking forward to start rebuilding his new car. Even the fact that he had passed a dark haired guy who looked a lot like Castiel and who was coming from the direction of his home didn't register until much later.

At night he did remember the almost-encounter and he was partly relieved that he had missed Castiel and partly disappointed, for the same reason. Again he felt very confused by his conflicting feelings and he decided that he needed some distraction. Sam had once again told him that he had no time because he needed to study and therefore Dean went to a bar in town on his own.

Since it was a weeknight there weren't many people out and about and Dean simply found a place where he sat down with a beer and he was happy to just watch the other patrons. It wasn't much but it was enough to distract him, until a group of college students entered the bar. Among them Dean recognized Castiel. Damn it, the guy seemed to follow him around. This made no sense of course, but Dean couldn't help this thought and suddenly he didn't feel all that comfortable anymore. This was not how a distraction was supposed to work.

Cas hadn't seen him yet and the group found a table on the other side of the bar. Dean felt an almost overwhelming urge to find an excuse to go over there and be a part of the group, getting an opportunity to get to know Cas a little better in a relaxed situation.

He quickly finished his beer and got up from his place to head over to where the group was seated. Cas had his back to him, so he hadn't yet noticed Dean. Slowly Dean moved across the room, when Rick, one of his regular customers, noticed him and stopped him to talk to him and have a beer together. Dean hesitated for a moment, but when a group of girls entered the bar and joined Cas' group at their table, he agreed.

The group of college students had now become too large for him to be comfortable to join anymore. With the girls there the dynamics of the group would change and it wasn't just a bunch of guys hanging out any longer. That was not the right environment to try to make new guy friends or whatever. So Dean sat down with Rick to have another beer before he left the bar and went home, not feeling any better than when he had gone out in the first place.

During the next couple of weeks Dean was busy working on his new project, the Impala he'd gotten from Bobby. She was in a really bad shape and needed a lot of work, but that was exactly what Dean had been looking for and what he needed at the moment. Every spare minute he spent with the car or with riding around town, hunting for parts he needed.

Every once in a while he would think he saw Castiel somewhere, but whenever he turned back to check there was no one there or it was a complete stranger, who just vaguely resembled Cas. Dean felt like he was slowly loosing his mind. No matter what he did, he always somehow thought of Cas. He just couldn't help it.

Finally it got to be too much and he decided that he had to confront his 'demon' eventually, because trying to ignore Cas just didn't seem to work. But after realizing that he had to do something about the situation it still took him some time to actually work out a kind of plan and gather his courage to carry it out.

So when he called Sammy and planned another visit at his brother's dorm, of course planning to intentionally running into Cas there, quite some time had passed since the party and the letter that Cas had written him. But Dean was confident that he could work things out with Cas and that they could become friends. Because that was of course all that Dean had in mind, when planning to meet Cas again.

Sam was happy to have his brother visit; it had been a while since Dean had come to see him. They decided to meet after Sam's last exam and celebrate a little bit. This meant that Dean had to wait a few more days, which was really hard for him, now that he had finally decided to do something. But he agreed Sam's exams were more important than his problems with his confused mind.

On the day before his planned visit at the dorm, where both his brother and Castiel lived, Dean was oddly excited. He felt nervous like a teenage girl before her first date and he desperately tried to suppress those feelings. Therefore he chose this day to take his now rebuilt Impala for a test drive. She was ready and she really was beautiful and it was time to take her out on the road. And besides, going for a ride in a gleaming black muscle car would definitely make him feel his masculinity again.

This all worked really well. The Impala ran perfectly and Dean enjoyed the drive very much. It even managed to erase all other thoughts and worries from his mind. Until he had to stop at a red light on his way back to his garage and looked out the window.

There was Castiel walking down the street. This time it was not Dean's imagination, this time it was really him. And he wasn't alone; he had his arm around a beautiful blonde girl, holding her close. They seemed to be very comfortable with each other and while Dean watched, the girl laughed and threw her had back, shaking out her long, shining curls. Cas was looking at her, smiling and Dean almost missed the moment when the light turned green, because his attention was completely focused on the couple.

When he finally drove on, back to the garage he felt terrible, devastated. He had waited too long and though he still only thought about wanting to be friends with Castiel, he just felt like he'd been stabbed in the heart by seeing Cas so obviously happy with that girl.


	4. Chapter 4

**So this is what happens when I get bored at work. I got the idea for this chapter and saw it like a movie in my mind, which totally made the time pass faster and I was really excited about being able to finally write it down. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. If it weren't for all of you reviewing, alerting and favoriting this story I wouldn't have gotten to this point. Thanks to you all.**

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><p>Dean was driving the Impala towards the campus in the afternoon the next day. He really would much rather go anywhere else but there, but he had promised his brother to visit him and they hadn't spent much time together lately, because Sam had had to study. But now the exams were over and Sam wanted some company to unwind. And it was Dean who had initiated the visit anyway and even if the real reason for that didn't matter any longer, he couldn't back out now.<p>

Walking up to the dorm where Sam lived, Dean hoped that he wouldn't meet someone he knew on the way there. It was completely the opposite of what he had thought just a few days ago, but the situation had changed. So he swiftly walked up to the building, keeping his head ducked, trying to be invisible.

But of course Castiel was coming down the stairs just as Dean was going up. It couldn't have a worse timing than this in Dean's opinion. And Cas wasn't alone. That girl from the day before was with him and he had his arm around her again. Dean just stepped out of the way, trying to wipe his face clear of any emotions and let them pass. Cas didn't even acknowledge his presence though, he just kept walking as if he hadn't seen Dean at all.

Despite wanting to get away as quickly as possible Dean turned around to watch Cas until he had left the building and was out of sight. For some reason this encounter had left him feeling worse than the day before, as if he'd just been punched in the stomach. Dean shook his head slightly, trying to clear some of his confusion, and then he moved on up the stairs and went to his brother's room.

They had a pleasant afternoon just hanging out and catching up. When it got late, some of Sam's friends started showing up to celebrate the end of exams and by the time it was dark out there was a full-blown spontaneous party going on in Sam's room. Dean didn't really feel like partying, for probably the first time ever, but Sam convinced him to stay so he did, not touching the alcohol though because he didn't want to spend the night on campus and leave his Impala vulnerable to the night.

At some point of the party people started playing truth or dare. They seemed to have a lot of fun and Dean had to admit that it was fun to watch them, but he didn't want to play himself. Luckily everyone was so drunk already, they didn't really notice that they kept skipping him all the time. For a while this worked at least. But eventually Sam caught on to the fact that Dean hadn't played even once so far.

Apparently Sam was still comparatively sober. "Dean, it's your turn now. Truth or dare?"

Dean thought for a moment. The truth-questions had all been very embarrassing and he trusted his brother to ask him something that he really didn't want to talk about. The dares on the other hand had been rather silly. They had of course been embarrassing as well, but on a less personal level. Other players had had to switch clothes, carry someone through the building or act like an animal. Nothing really bad.

"I choose dare." he finally said, looking at his brother and waiting for him to tell him what to do. The mischievous grin, which slowly spread across Sam's face made him a little nervous though. Maybe it hadn't been the right choice after all.

"I dare you to go to Cas' room and kiss him." Sam told him, his grin turning smug at the look of horror on Dean's face. This was worse than anything Dean had imagined. Yes, he knew that Sam had noticed his confusion after the last party, but they hadn't talked about it again. Not since the letter and Dean had not expected his brother to be so evil as to bring it up now.

"But what about the girl?" Dean suddenly asked, glad to remember her, because this would surely spare him this dare.

"What girl?" some of the others asked.

"The pretty blonde one, who left together with Cas earlier. Maybe they're not even back yet." Dean explained and he sincerely hoped that he was right and they were still gone.

"Oh, you mean Claire? She's his sister and he took her to the airport earlier. He should be back by now." someone explained.

Dean didn't know how to react to this information. On the one hand he was glad that Claire was Cas' sister and not his girlfriend. On the other hand he was horrified that he wouldn't get out of this dare now.

Swallowing hard he got up and left the room, shutting the door behind him. Maybe the other party guests would just forget about him, when they couldn't see him anymore. He doubted it, but he just really didn't want them to follow him to watch.

He walked down the hall and stopped in front of Cas' door. There he lifted his hand to knock, but hesitated before his fingers connected with the wood. After a short moment he simply opened the door without knocking first and stepped into the room.

Cas was sitting at his desk reading something, his back towards Dean. When he heard the footsteps behind him he turned around and then got up as he recognized his visitor.

"Dean!" he said surprised, taking a step towards the other man.

Dean said nothing. He simply closed the distance between with a few big steps and then quickly and rather roughly pressed his lips on Cas' mouth. Cas' eyes widened in surprise before he shut them and responded, parting his lips for Dean's tongue. The kiss wasn't gentle but it was certainly passionate and demanding, from both sides. With lips, tongues and occasionally teeth they battled for dominance and it didn't matter that neither wanted to give in. They really enjoyed this kiss, which could have lasted the whole night.

Suddenly there was cheering and laughter coming from the doorway. Apparently Sam's friends had followed Dean after all and now they were congratulating him on completing his dare. At this Cas broke the kiss and forcefully pushed Dean away from him.

"A dare?" he asked disbelieving, suddenly looking hurt. "You did this because of a dare?" he asked again, when Dean didn't answer. But Dean still didn't know what to say. And that was enough for Cas to know that it was true.

"Get out!" he yelled at all of them and he even shoved Dean out the door, because Dean wouldn't move, too shocked by what had just happened.

"I didn't want it like this." Cas yelled directly at Dean before closing the door, locking them all out of his room, his safe little world. He felt terrible, deeply hurt as he leaned against his door, holding it shut with his body weight. That had been a horrible thing to do from Dean. Getting Cas' hopes up like that and then revealing it all to be just a dare. Well, he hoped Dean felt good about himself now.

He couldn't have been more wrong. Dean felt as terrible as Cas did. This was not how it had been supposed to go. The kiss had been the best kiss he had ever experienced and then Sam's friends had gone and ruined it all. Cas would probably never talk to him again and it was all Dean's fault. He felt miserable and really had enough of the party now.

Back at Sam's room he just grabbed his jacket, said goodbye to his brother and then left. He couldn't stand spending another minute in that dorm. Behind the wheel of his car he finally calmed down again and was able to think. He came to the conclusion that maybe now it was his turn to write a letter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, this is a shorter chapter, but it is mainly just the letter, so that is the reason for that. It took days to get the letter done and I felt like Dean would probably feel if he really had to write a letter like this. It's tough. I listened to a lot of classic rock to try and get inside Dean's head for this. Don't know if it worked, but this is what I could imagine him writing.**

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><p>Dean sat down at his table to try and write a letter to Cas right when he got home. He had trouble writing the letter though, or even to find the right way to start it. It had to be good but not too chick-flicky. He was still a man after all.<p>

Over an hour later he was still sitting at his table with a glass of whiskey next to him and surrounded by several crumpled pieces of paper. All those were his earlier fruitless, endless tries of getting the letter right.

'_Cas'_, he started over again. He had already tried _'Castiel'_ and even _'Dear Cas'_ or _'Dear Castiel'_ , but they all didn't feel right. They were too formal and just not the right start for this letter. So when he had to try again he decided to keep it simple and just finish the damn letter this time.

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><p><em>Cas,<em>

_I don't know how to best say this, so I'm just gonna say it straight out. I am sorry. What happened tonight was not okay. I'm talking about the audience of course, not the kiss, because that was freaking amazing. But it was supposed to be just you and me. It should have been, but I didn't think and ruined everything._

_Wow, this is all really difficult to put into words and I don't know how many times I have already tried and failed at writing this letter. So I'm just writing what goes through my mind right now and I'm hoping it'll make sense._

_But all that is not important, of course. You are. I was a total dick tonight. I should have said something, explained the situation, like I'm trying to, now. But I'd understand it if you never wanted to talk to me again, after what happened. I'm hoping you will, though._

_I am sorry that it took a dare to make me realize what I want. Everyone around me apparently already knew and they gave me a much needed push in the right direction. The dare was exactly that and once I had resolved to go through with it, the game didn't really matter anymore. And I know I should have told you this right then and there, but it was all too much at that moment. _

_I didn't mean to make you feel used; that was not what I wanted at all. Like I said before, the dare was simply a much needed push and didn't mean anything else. It was just a means to an end. The kiss though was genuine and honestly, it was the best damn kiss I have ever had. _

_I didn't mean to embarrass or ridicule you in any way. I'm sorry that it seemed that way. I'm probably repeating myself by now, but I just really want to get the point across. The dare itself didn't mean anything to me, but that kiss meant everything._

_When I saw you with your sister I first thought that she was your girlfriend and it broke my heart to think that I had missed my chance. And I don't really care if I sound like a whiny little girl now, because it is the truth. _

_Even if you never want to see me again I just wanted you to know everything. And I also want you to know that I've been thinking about you ever since we first met, it just took me a while to figure out what that meant. Now it's up to you. I will respect your decision, whatever it is._

_I hope you will accept my sincere apology and forgive me._

_~ Dean_

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><p>Cas let his hand holding the letter, which he had found on the floor of his dorm room earlier, sink down onto his desk. This was so much more than he had ever expected. He had been completely wrong about Dean the past night.<p>

Dean just was a little slow and had needed some help to realize his own emotions. What had happened the night before hadn't been a horrible prank, it had been a clumsy attempt of showing his feelings, which had gone wrong.

Cas stared out of his window, lost in thought and without really looking at anything in particular. The letter made him feel a lot better and Dean was right; that kiss had been spectacular. But he still needed time before he could see Dean again. Even with the explanation the memory still hurt. After what had happened that past night he had been convinced he'd never want to see Dean again, but now he wasn't so sure anymore. He needed some time to think now.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey, thank you all for still reading and supporting this story so much. I would have updated sooner, but I was sick and the distance from my bed to my computer was too great. But I had a lot of time to plan the next chapters and now that I feel better I immediately started writing again. So hopefully the next update will be very soon and I might even have to change the rating if I do end up writing what is going through my mind right now.  
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><p>For days Dean didn't hear from Castiel. He had a hard time restraining himself giving Cas time and letting him decide what he wanted, even though all Dean wanted to do was to go and see Cas to demand an answer. But he knew that that would be a terrible thing to do, so he waited. After all Cas had done the same thing for Dean, when Dean had needed time to think. He deserved the same consideration now.<p>

But it was hard and even though, right after the party at Sam's, he'd been really angry with his brother and hadn't planned to visit again any time soon, he spent quite some time at the dorm. His anger hadn't lasted too long, because if it hadn't been for Sam and his friends he'd still think that Claire was Cas' girlfriend and he'd still be miserable. Okay, so he wasn't exactly cheerful right now, but at least he still had hope.

Every time he went to see his brother he of course hoped to maybe see Cas, but his door was always closed and Dean didn't knock. He asked his brother about Cas, but Sam couldn't tell him anything either, until one day Dean found the door to Cas' room open and the room empty.

"Well, the semester is over and Cas graduated. He got a job as a teacher and moved out two days ago." Sam explained when Dean asked him about it.

"What? Where? Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Dean exclaimed, feeling his heart sink at the thought that Cas had left without talking to him again. Apparently he had made a decision, one that didn't include Dean. It hurt.

"I couldn't tell you, because Cas asked me not to. And I also can't tell where he is now for the same reason. He wanted to do this his way and he wouldn't have told me anything at all, if I hadn't promised not to let you know."

"No, Sam, you can't do that. Give me the chance to explain everything to him just one more time." Dean tried to persuade his younger brother, but Sam wouldn't budge.

"No, just be patient Dean, okay? Let Cas do things his way." was all he said, implying that maybe everything was not over yet.

"Kay." he sighed feeling a little bit hopeful again, but annoyed with Sam's secrecy. And even though he'd agreed to be patient he still wanted to learn more. But whatever he tried, Sam wouldn't talk about Cas anymore and eventually told Dean to leave when it was impossible to change the subject.

The next day Dean was working on a car in his garage when he heard the door open and a customer came in.

"I'll be right there." he called to the front of the store and straightened up to go to his little sink and wash his hands before greeting the customer.

When he went through the door leading to the little reception area he stopped and stared in surprise. His 'customer' was not the nice old lady on whose car he was working right now. It was Cas and Dean was at a loss for words for a moment. He had hoped to see him again, after Sam's hints, but he hadn't expected it to be so soon and especially not at his work.

"I think we should try a fresh start, as if we never met at that party." Cas said before Dean had a chance to get over his surprise. "Hello, nice to meet you. My name is Castiel Novak and I'm new to the neighborhood." Cas extended his hand, blue eyes sparkling with hope and then happiness and relief when Dean shook it.

"Nice to meet you, too. I'm Dean Winchester and I own this place." he introduced himself, quickly catching on to Cas' idea. He wasn't entirely sure if it was a good idea, but he decided to give it a try for Cas' sake. "So, you just moved here?"

"Yes, I got a job at a school in town and I found a nice little apartment down the street. I'm having a housewarming party tomorrow for my new neighbors and I was wondering if you'd want to come." Cas answered with a small smile.

"Yes, thank you for the invitation. I'll be there." Dean said and quickly wrote down the time and the address before Cas left again to let Dean get back to his work. Dean watched him leave and walk down the street for a little bit, before tearing his eyes away from the retreating and very handsome form. He really did have to get some work done, because the lady he had expected before really was going to pick up her car that day.

The day of the housewarming party was a Friday and Dean went to work as usual, but he had a hard time concentrating because he was looking forward to the evening, wondering what would happen.

Cas didn't feel much different but he had a lot to do, a lot to prepare for the night, so he didn't have the time to think about Dean a lot. He was wondering though if his idea would work. After everything a fresh start had seemed like the only way and he only hoped that he was right.

By the time he was done with all the cleaning and decorating and preparing some snacks and drinks he had just enough time to shower and change before the first neighbors arrived. He was glad that he had asked everybody to bring some food for a potluck, because he wouldn't have been able to cook for so many people.

The apartment was really too small for all the people he had invited and it was impossible to talk to anyone alone. He had kind of hoped to catch Dean on his own, but there was always someone around him, telling him about their kids going to his school or trying to convince him to meet their pretty daughters.

Although everybody was really nice and they all welcomed him to the neighborhood Cas was glad when the food was gone and people were starting to leave. In the end Dean was the only one left, helping him to bring the dishes into the kitchen and stowing away any leftovers.

"Nice place you've got here." Dean said when they were done cleaning, leaning against the kitchen counter and looking directly at Cas.

"Thanks." Cas answered and then stopped, suddenly feeling very self-conscious. "I'm sorry I kept you waiting for a reaction for so long." he told Dean, ignoring his own request of forgetting about what had happened before. "I needed some time to think after I got your letter and then I had to look for a job and an apartment and move here. I was so busy that I didn't realize how much time had passed."

"Don't worry about it. I kept you waiting a lot longer and I'm just glad we're talking again right now. We both made mistakes and I think a fresh start is an awesome idea." Dean told him, smiling reassuringly.

This made Cas smile widely and his eyes lit up. "I'm glad you think so." he said. "Maybe we could go out some day, do this whole thing right this time."

"Sounds good. How about tomorrow?" Dean agreed and Cas just nodded. Then the two men stared at each other uncomfortably for a moment, before Dean moved towards the door.

"I should go now. I'll see you tomorrow." They both smiled and went to the front door. After a short, awkward hug Dean left and both men hoped that their date the next day would go better than these last few minutes had. But they both decided to make sure that it would.


	7. Chapter 7

**Yay, another chapter is done. I had sooo much fun writing this one, I really love this chapter :)**

**Okay, I hope ypu enjoy it as much as I do and here it is, their date.**

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><p>For their date they chose nothing fancy because anything else would have made both of them extremely uncomfortable. They both felt somewhat awkward about this whole thing already so they decided to keep it simple and go to a diner for food and maybe a bar afterwards.<p>

Nevertheless, when were sitting at their table facing each other they both didn't really know what to say and they mostly looked down at the table or their hands, only risking quick glances at the other when they commented on the weather or something inconsequential like it.

The waitress' arrival was greeted with great relief as the tension at the table was almost tangible. They ordered drinks and food, a bacon-cheeseburger for Dean and a veggie burger for Cas and then sat in silence again when the waitress left.

"So, did you get all traces of the party cleaned up yet?" Dean asked and then internally cursed himself for asking such a stupid question. What did he care whether Cas had already cleaned his apartment? It was none of his business anyway.

"Yeah, there wasn't that much left to do. Thanks for your help last night." Castiel replied and then there was another too long break in their conversation.

"The neighbors seemed nice. I think I'll like it there." Cas tried again.

"Yes, I'm sure you will. It's a great area to live."

Again the silence between them after these few words threatened to stretch out uncomfortably but luckily their food arrived and they started eating, glad to finally have something to do. The silence wasn't as awkward anymore.

Dean couldn't believe how hard this was. He really wanted this to work and he was pretty sure that Cas did too, so why couldn't they even have a decent conversation? He was racking his brain to find topics to talk about but came up with nothing. He was trying so hard, too hard maybe and still it looked as if this date was going terribly wrong.

"So, are you a vegetarian or something?" he suddenly asked halfway through the meal. The words had just tumbled out of his mouth without his brain realizing he was going to say them. It had mildly surprised him but then this was the way he usually managed conversations, so maybe this was the right strategy for this situation as well. This date was already a pretty lost cause at the moment, he could hardly fuck it up any more.

"Uhm, no. Why do you ask?" Cas swallowed his bite and then put down his half-eaten burger to look at Dean directly across the table. Dean was speechless for a moment when the intensity of Cas' dark blue eyes hit him. The dude was absolutely handsome but his eyes were fucking amazing and it still surprised Dean just how amazing those eyes were every once in a while.

"I was just wondering."

"Would it be a problem if I were a vegetarian?" Cas asked genuinely interested in Dean's answer.

"No, of course not. I just…" Dean was just about to explain that he just wondered how one could eat veggies when there was perfectly good meat available, when he was distracted by the couple a few tables away.

They had just started a fight and they weren't exactly discreet about it. She was accusing him of checking out the waitress' ass and that he always looked at other women and never at her. He was denying this of course and telling her that he only had eyes for her.

"What do you reckon, is she right? Did he check out the waitress? I mean, she is pretty." Dean asked Cas in a serious tone. They had both stopped eating and were watching the fighting couple, like everybody else in the diner.

Cas gave him an exaggerated hurt look but then grinned widely at Dean. "I don't know, but he probably did. You're right, she really is pretty and obviously we both looked. So I'd say yeah."

"I think so, too." Dean agreed.

Then they both turned their attention back to the couple. The woman was now standing and almost screaming, barely able to control herself. She was saying something about having found a note with a woman's name and a phone number in his pocket.

"Uh oh. I wonder how he's going to get out of that one." Dean commented.

"I know. This is better than watching a movie." Cas replied eyes focused on the fighting couple.

"You weren't supposed to find that." the man now said, probably not the smartest answer in this situation. The woman was livid now. She picked up her glass and dumped her drink into the man's face. Then she grabbed her purse to leave but the strap had gotten tangled with the chair leg and in her fury she couldn't tug it free. This gave the man the chance to get up and walk over to her side of the table.

"Julie. That name and number belong to a jeweler." At that the woman stopped trying to free her purse and turned around to face him.

"Go on." she told him, folding her arms across her chest.

"This is not how I had planned this, but…" He sank down on one knee, reaching into his pocket. "Julie, will you marry me?" Now he pulled out a small box containing a ring.

She looked at him for a moment, completely surprised, then she nodded and he got up to kiss her and put the ring on her finger.

"Now that was an unsuspected twist." Cas said smiling as he and Dean started clapping and congratulating with the rest of the guests and staff in the diner.

"Yeah. Gotta love happy endings though." Dean agreed when the diner had quieted down again.

After this the tension between them was gone and talking was suddenly easy. The couple with their fight and then the proposal had saved their date. They talked about favorite movies and music, finding some similarities and on other accounts having to agree to disagree. But the conversation flowed now until they were done eating and ready for the bill.

They had a small argument about who should pay. Cas thought he should because he had suggested the date but Dean thought he should pay because he still felt like having to make things up to Cas for what he had done. In the end they agreed to split the bill as they couldn't find another solution.

Since the dinner had gone so well once they had overcome the initial awkwardness they decided not to go home yet and they found a bar which was close to the diner.

They had a beer and continued their conversation and to anyone seeing them they might have looked like two buddies having a drink after work, that's how comfortable they felt with each other now. Only the fact that their stools were closer together than they normally would be, so their thighs were lightly touching and the short, secret glances gave away that there was more going on between them.

Now that they had started to talk there was apparently no stopping them anymore. They stayed at the bar until it closed only leaving because they had to. But it really was late now and they decided it would be a good idea to go home now. Since they had chosen places close to their apartments they had walked and they now walked back home holding hands. They couldn't recall how it had happened, they had just gravitated closer to each other all night and holding hands now only seemed natural.

Dean's apartment was first on their way and they stopped at the start of the driveway suddenly unsure of how to end this night. For a moment they stood looking at each other. Neither wanted to make the first move but eventually Dean reclaimed his hand and cleared his throat.

"That was fun, I had a good time tonight."

"I did, too. We should do this again soon." Cas agreed.

"Definitely. Very soon." Dean smiled. "Well, good night then." He looked at Cas for another moment seeing the same nervous and unsure look on his face that he himself probably wore as well. Should he kiss Cas or not? The date had gone well, he really liked Cas and he was pretty sure that Cas felt the same way. But after that last kiss that he forced unto him Dean wasn't sure if he should initiate the next kiss, the first kiss of their new start. He was afraid of scaring Cas off if he pushed too hard now. He really wanted to do this right.

When after another short moment Cas didn't make a move or say anything Dean smiled once more and then turned to walk to his door. He was almost there when Cas called his name.

"Dean."

Dean stopped immediately and turned around again. Cas had followed him to his door and now placed his hands on Dean's shoulders, leaning in to gently press his lips against Dean's for a second. It was very chaste, hardly a kiss at all but it made Dean grin like a maniac and Cas wore a similar expression when he saw Dean's reaction.

"Good night, Dean." Cas turned and walked away to go home and Dean watched him until he was out of sight before unlocking his door and entering his apartment, feeling happier than he could remember to ever have felt.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hmm, this story just keeps growing and growing. I totally did not expect that when I started writing but I just enjoy writing it very much still. This chapter turned out differently than what I had planned, but what I had planned for this will just go in the next chapter then. I just needed lots of Cas I guess.**

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><p>After the date Dean lay awake for a long time replaying the evening in his mind and eventually falling asleep with a smile on his face. Finally something had gone right and it hadn't even bothered him to be on a date with another man. It didn't matter. He'd had a great time and he could hardly wait to see Cas again.<p>

During the following week they didn't get much chance to spend time together though. They were both very busy and contact was reduced to talking on the phone or waving at the other when passing him on the street. On the Friday after their date Cas showed up at the garage hoping to catch Dean on his own to talk for a moment.

"Hey Dean. Do you have a moment?" Cas asked as soon as he had spotted Dean. Dean stopped filling out the paperwork he'd been working on and looked up upon hearing the familiar voice. His face lit up when he saw Cas coming closer and Cas smiled a brilliant smile almost dazzling Dean. But before they could hug or maybe kiss or whatever they would have done to say 'Hello', Dean wasn't sure about it, the costumer for whom he'd been doing the paperwork came into the garage.

"I'll be with you in a minute, Sir." he told the costumer and then turned back to Cas. "So, what did you want?" he asked casually and hating himself for making it sound so distant but unable to change that at the moment. Not with someone else around, he wasn't ready for that yet.

Cas' smile showed him that he understood though and it filled Dean with relief. "I just wanted to ask if you could come over tonight. I need help moving some furniture which I just had delivered today." Cas told him and Dean couldn't tell if Cas had just made that up for the costumer's sake or if he really needed help with the furniture. He had just moved in after all.

"Sure, I can be there around eight, if that's alright."

"Great, thank you. See you later." Cas gave Dean another dazzling smile when the customer wasn't watching and turned to leave.

"Later." Dean called after him and then worked hard to concentrate on his customer and the paperwork about the car he had to finish for him.

Finally it was evening and time to go over to Cas' place. He had been looking forward to this ever since Cas' visit in the afternoon and now he was knocking on his door.

"Come in. It's open." Cas called from inside the apartment. Dean shrugged and entered the apartment looking for Cas. He found him struggling to assemble a bookshelf and only Cas' body pressed against the structure kept the pieces from falling down and burying him. A lone book was lying on the top shelf which was only just hanging on.

Dean watched him for a moment before coming closer. "I take it you could use a hand."

"Stop staring at my ass and help me." Cas snapped with a strained voice.

Dean grinned and pried his eyes away from Cas' backside. He had indeed been staring and it was a damn fine ass to look at. He stepped closer and helped Cas steady the structure and carefully put the loose pieces on the floor.

"So you really do need help with your furniture. And here I thought you were just saying that to get me to come over." Dean teased once they had made sure that the frame which was still standing wouldn't collapse.

"No, actually that was the plan." Cas grinned at Dean and moved closer, taking his hands to pull him in until their bodies were pressed together. "But then I decided to start putting my books on the shelves and the whole thing started to self-destruct." He looked into Dean's eyes and they were so close that their foreheads were almost touching, theirs breaths mixing.

"Good thing I came just in time to rescue you. That thing might have killed you." Dean said softly.

"Yes. Good thing you came when you did." Cas agreed and pressed his lips on Dean's in a gentle and chaste kiss. "My hero." he softly mocked when he pulled away again and earned a playful punch on the arm from Dean. They both laughed.

"We should probably fix this." Dean suggested after a moment, pointing at the pile of shelves on the floor. Cas agreed and they started to work on stabilizing the outer frame and then attaching the shelves. When they were done they tested the result by putting the lone book back up on the top shelf and this time it held.

After watching it carefully for a few minutes and when the bookshelf still didn't show any signs of collapsing again Cas went to the fridge and got two beers for them. They sat down on the couch, bodies touching and drank their beer and admired their handiwork in amiable silence.

"So, what are your plans for the weekend?" Cas asked with a hopeful note in his voice indicating he hoped that Dean's plans would include him. He pulled his legs up onto the couch and leaned even more against Dean who adjusted his body slightly to make this position more comfortable for them both.

"Oh, damn." Dean sighed, only now remembering that he actually already had plans for the weekend and wouldn't be able to spend it with Cas, even though he really wanted to. "Sam and I are leaving tomorrow in the morning to visit Dad. I completely forgot until just now. We'll be gone until Monday night, maybe Tuesday morning. I'm sorry." He put his arm around Cas' shoulder pulling him even closer into his side.

"Oh, that's too bad." Cas answered trying unsuccessfully to hide his disappointment.

"Man, I'm really sorry. But we promised him on his birthday that we would go with him to try out his birthday present. He chose this weekend." Sam and Dean had given their father a new hunting rifle and this weekend they would go into the woods together for the first hunt of the season.

"No, it's okay. Family is important, I understand."

They stayed on the couch like that for quite a bit longer talking about their families. Dean talked about his and Sam's childhood and how hard it had been after their Mom had died. Cas already knew some of those things from Sam but it was completely different hearing the same things from Dean now. Their father had been gone for weeks sometimes when they were kids, struggling to earn enough money to support his little family. Things had fallen apart after his wife, Sam's and Dean's Mom had died and Dean had had to grow up a lot faster than other kids. But Dean hadn't minded because he fiercely loved his baby brother and would give up anything for him.

Cas just listened and was impressed by Dean's story and what he had done for his brother. He really was special and Cas was glad that he had got to meet Dean and could spend time with him. His own childhood had been much more normal but he told Dean about it when Dean was done talking for the moment. He told him about his sister Claire who had been adopted by his parents as a baby but who couldn't be any closer to him if they shared the same blood. He loved her very much and was proud of her.

When they were done revealing as much about themselves to the other as they felt comfortable to at the moment they sat in silence for a bit enjoying their closeness in more than one way. Finally Dean sighed and removed his arm from around Cas.

"I should probably get going. I have to pick up Sam early in the morning."

They both got up and Cas came to the door with Dean. There they stood close together for a while before simultaneously leaning towards the other for a goodnight kiss. And this time it was more than just a soft touch of lips. This time it was a real kiss with parted lips and caressing tongues, still gentle and careful but at the same time a promise for so much more.

"Have a good trip." Cas whispered when they broke the kiss.

"I will. I'll see you when I get back." Dean replied, pressing his lips briefly on Cas' once, before leaving. He thought he could feel Cas' intense gaze on him all the way down the street and it made him feel warm and happy.


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you everyone for reading and reviewing the story, it means a lot to me.**

**So, I have no work today and decided to use my time to finish this chapter since I had it all planned out already. It's a bit longer and not as fluffy as the previous one, but then that would have gotten boring, right? I hope you'll enjoy it anyway, it has family, a new character and some angst. All the good stuff.  
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><p>The drive to the cabin where they were supposed to meet their Dad was long and only in the beginning quiet, while Sam slept. As soon as Sam was awake though he started asking questions about Cas and how things were going. Dean hadn't told Sam about the date, in fact he hadn't talked about Cas again since the day he had seen the empty room at the dorm and had been afraid to have lost him.<p>

But Sam had known that Cas wasn't far gone, because Cas had told him and asked him not to tell Dean. And Sam could also tell that his older brother was a lot happier than he had been about a week earlier. He knew his brother well and he suspected that Cas had something to with it. So Dean told him.

"You went on a date? A real date? How did it go?" he interrupted Dean's story, surprised and happy that his brother had been brave enough to go through with that.

"Yes, a real date." Dean replied, rolling his eyes at his brother as well as he could while still watching the road. "It was a bit awkward in the beginning but it got better and we had a great time. We would have gone out again this weekend but as you know I already had other plans."

"Well, good for you. Cas is a great guy and you two make a great couple."

Dean flinched at Sam calling him and Cas a couple. It was a little soon for that, wasn't it? But other than that he had to agree with his little brother and also Sam's approval of this 'relationship' was important to him. Nevertheless he was glad when they reached the cabin and John Winchester was standing outside already waiting for his sons. It meant that Sam wouldn't ask more questions for at least a while now.

They got out of the car and greeted their Dad before getting their bags and bringing them inside. John admired the Impala for a moment before he followed his sons. Since they had driven all morning without a break and it was now already early afternoon, the first thing to do was to have lunch. John Winchester had already stocked the cabin with groceries and they made sandwiches and sat down to eat. They also used the time to catch up and talk about what had happened in their lives.

Sam did most the talking because his news were the most exciting. He had gotten a full ride for law school and he had a lot to talk about. John listened intently and was visibly proud of his son's success. Dean just leaned back ate his sandwich and listened to his brother. He didn't have any news other than having met Cas. And he wasn't ready to tell his father that he was seeing another man. He wouldn't even have told Sam if he hadn't been around when he'd met Cas.

"So, Dean. How are things going for you?" John addressed his eldest son, taking him a little by surprise. He hadn't noticed that Sam was already done talking and was now focusing on the food himself.

"Uhm." Dean swallowed, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. His mind had been wandering back to the last night, to Cas and he really didn't want to talk about that now. "Things are going well, thanks. Business is great and I really can't complain." he finally answered his father's question. He hoped that this was enough for his Dad and he wouldn't ask any further questions because he was thinking about Cas so much he might just mention him accidentally.

"Good, I'm glad to hear that." John said and Dean was relieved that the topic was apparently through. But John had another surprise for him, something Dean hadn't expected at all.

"I saw Anna the other day. She looked good." John told him, changing the subject.

Dean stared at him for a beat. He had expected anything but his Dad starting to talk about his ex-girlfriend. "Good for her." he answered hoping his father would get the message that he didn't really care and didn't want to talk about her much. Anna had been his only real long-term relationship and she had broken his heart almost two years ago. Her dream had been to become an actress and she had wanted to move to Los Angeles. When Dean had refused because he didn't want to be so far from his family, especially Sam, she had left him and gone away on her own. Dean hadn't heard from her since.

"She asked about you. I told her that you own the garage now. You should meet up with her sometime. I always liked her, you know? She was good for you. " John kept talking about Anna and he made it clear that he would love to welcome her in the family.

"Dad, I'm seeing someone." Dean stopped his father when he finally had enough.

"Oh, okay. Well, I just thought you should know that she's back." John said and seemed to be disappointed that Dean wasn't as thrilled about the news as he was. Luckily in his disappointment he seemed to have missed that Dean had admitted to possibly being in a relationship again and didn't ask any more questions.

After this talk, Anna wasn't mentioned again and the three men spent most of their time in the woods being as quiet as possible or around a bonfire drinking beer. Even though their hunt wasn't successful they still had a great time and enjoyed spending the weekend as a family again. Dean didn't even think about how much he missed Cas all the time, though he could always see his blue eyes or feel the touch of his lips when he closed his eyes at night.

On Monday they slept in. They needed the sleep after the short nights during the weekend and Dean wanted to be well rested for the long drive back home. The thought that something might happen to the Impala, his baby, because he was too tired was unbearable, even though he couldn't wait to get back home again and maybe see Cas for a bit that night. He had tried to call him to let him know when he'd be back but he had only been able to leave a message.

When he finally pulled up at his house that night, after having dropped off Sam, it had gotten late. The first thing he noticed was a figure sitting on his doorstep waiting for him. His heartbeat sped up a little bit. Apparently Cas had received is message and was already waiting for him to come home. With a smile on his face Dean unloaded his bag and went to his front door.

About halfway there he realized that he had been mistaken. It wasn't Cas who was sitting there, it was a woman with long legs and long red hair. Anna. His Dad had been wrong though. She didn't look good. In fact she looked terrible and she had a bag with her. That couldn't be good, Dean thought as he approached her.

"Dean. It's so good to see you." she said getting up when he came closer.

"Anna, what do you want?" Dean asked wearily. This was not what he had planned for this night, having to deal with the only woman he had ever loved and who in return had shattered his heart into a million pieces that were only now starting to knit together again.

"I need your help, Dean." she said and it sounded as if she was close to tears. Dean sighed. He had suspected that this was more than just a visit to say hello.

"Please, I don't know what to do, where else to go." she added when he didn't say anything.

"What happened?"

"You probably guessed that my career as an actress didn't work out." she started with a bitter laugh. "But I met many interesting people and I didn't want to give up. And then I met Mike. He was sweet and funny and promised me he would help me with my career. I fell in love and moved in with him and at first everything was great. But then I realized that he did nothing to help me get roles and it turned out he wasn't so sweet after a while. I couldn't go anywhere on my own anymore and he started to get violent, especially when he was drunk." she paused. It seemed to be hard for her to tell him all this, how she had failed and ended up in an abusive relationship.

Dean waited a moment to let her catch her breath. "What happened then? How did you get back here?" he finally prompted her into telling him the rest of the story.

"For a while I stayed with him. I told myself that I loved him and that it was all my fault when he hit me and that I just had to try harder to not make him angry. But eventually I couldn't take it anymore and I called some of the people I had met when I first came to Los Angeles. They helped me get away while Mike was at work and gave me enough money for a flight back home. But he found me there and threatened my family so I came here and found a cheap room. He found me there, too. Now I don't know where else to go. I'm scared." She looked at Dean with wide eyes and he could already feel his resolve to send her away waver.

"You need to go to the police or this won't ever stop." Dean told her after having heard the whole story.

"I know. I was just so scared. Please can I just stay here tonight? I'll go to the police tomorrow I promise." she almost begged him looking at him with the best puppy dog eyes she could muster. She was almost as good at it as Sam and Dean could never refuse him anything when he made that face.

"Alright, one night, not more. And you will tell the police tomorrow. I'll come with you if you want but then you leave. Deal?" Dean decided. He really wanted to help her but he didn't want her around for too long. He didn't even really want her to spend the night but she was desperate and he couldn't send her away like that.

"Deal. Thank you." she said smiling at him.

Dean unlocked his front door and pushed it open for her. When he turned to get both their bags Anna suddenly hugged him tight and then pressed her lips on his, holding on to him with all her strength it seemed. Dean struggled to push her off which wasn't easy. When he finally got her to let go of him he noticed another person standing on the street looking at them.

"Cas!" Dean called out to him feeling suddenly very sick when he noticed the horrified and hurt look on Cas' face. Cas didn't answer he turned away and before Dean was even able to fully realize what had just happened he saw a car speed past him, with Cas at the wheel. He knew he needed to talk to Cas immediately but Cas was gone for now and there was nothing he could do at the moment. He grabbed both bags and followed Anna inside his apartment planning on calling Cas as soon as possible and explaining her presence.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hah, finally managed to get this chapter into my doc manager, though the uploading still doesn't work. Good thing there are smart people out there who know other ways :)**

**Okay, I know you all don't like Anna very much but I needed her a little bit longer so bear with me. Anyway, thank you all for your reviews and enjoy the next chapter.**

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><p>The first thing Dean did the next morning, after trying to call Castiel again and leaving another message when he didn't pick up, was taking Anna to the next police station. He stayed there with her while she gave her statement. Partly because she looked like she needed some moral support and partly because he was afraid she wouldn't do it if he left.<p>

The officer they talked to was very nice and patient but he told them that there wasn't much the police could do at the moment. They would of course look into it but since Anna had never pressed charges when Mike had abused her they had no proof for her allegations. He advised her to take out a restraining order against him though and to stay with friends if possible.

"What are you going to do now?" Dean asked her when the interview was over.

"I'll find some place to stay and then try to get a restraining order, just like officer Daniels suggested." she said defiantly.

"What about your best friend from High School you told me about. Maybe you should call her. What was her name again?"

"Lisa. Lisa Braeden. I haven't talked to her in ages. I don't know if that's a good idea. She might not even want to talk to me." She suddenly sounded lost.

"You should at least give it a try. You might be surprised. Does Mike know about her?"

Anna told him that no, Mike didn't know about Lisa and after some more encouragement from Dean she finally made the call and explained to Lisa what was going on. If Lisa was surprised to suddenly hear from her former best friend she didn't say so. Instead she immediately agreed to help and told Anna to wait at the police station for her to drive over and pick her up.

When this was taken care of Dean went back home and tried to reach Cas again but to no avail. He even went to Cas' place and knocked on the door but no one opened. Resigned Dean went to work since there was nothing else he could do at the moment. By the end of the day he still hadn't been able to get a hold of Cas so he went back to the house to tape a note to the front door. He really hoped that Cas would contact him because he slowly started to feel like a crazy stalker.

_'We need to talk. There has been a huge misunderstanding. Please call me.'_

He had seen Cas' car around during the day while he'd been at work so he knew that Cas was around and probably just avoiding Dean at the moment. This made him sad. If Cas had gotten angry and maybe yelled at him and Anna when he had surprised them, Dean could have easily dealt with that. He could have explained everything and they wouldn't be where they were now. But this complete silence was terrible. Dean fucking hated it.

The next morning put his mind at rest a little bit though. He found that he had missed a call from Cas in the middle of the night but Cas had left him a message. Dean briefly wondered if Cas had called at that time on purpose so he wouldn't have to speak to Dean directly but after listening to the message it didn't matter that much anymore.

In the message Cas told him that he needed to leave town for a few days and that they could talk when he got back. This wasn't much but it was a promise to have a conversation and that was better than nothing at all. At least Cas wasn't ignoring him any longer. The message hadn't given him much information. He neither knew why Cas had left nor when he'd be back. Only that he would be back and that he was willing to talk. That was all that mattered and Dean considered this to be a positive thing and the thought helped him through the next few days until Cas finally called him to let him know he was back.

The call came while Dean was at work, lying on his back halfway underneath the car he was fixing at the moment. When he heard his phone ring he hit his head on the undercarriage of the car because he had tried to get up too quickly. His head connecting with the hard surface above him reminded him of what he was doing and, swearing loudly, he managed to slide out from underneath the car and then raced to the small table where he had left his phone earlier. He was afraid of missing the call and possibly giving Cas the impression that he wasn't important enough to answer the phone for.

"Cas. Ouch, dammit!" he said into the phone. In his haste to reach the phone he had almost run into the table and painfully bumped his foot against the table leg. But he didn't mind that much. He was just glad that he had gotten to the phone in time.

"Uhm. Hello, Dean. Everything alright?" Cas replied sounding bemused.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Does this mean you're back?" Dean could hardly contain his excitement about this possibility and he was sure that this was evident in his voice. He wasn't sure how he felt about that but there was nothing he could do about it.

"Yes, it does." Cas agreed with a soft laugh. "Can you come over tonight so we can talk?" He had needed those last few days to calm down again and now he was dying to find out what the hell he had witnessed between Dean and that woman. But having heard the hope and excitement in Dean's voice just now had already placated him and he was looking forward to the visit.

When Dean finally knocked on Cas' door he didn't know what to expect but he hoped for the best. He had come straight from work without even stopping at his apartment because he couldn't wait any longer. He already knew exactly what he wanted to tell him and he only hoped that Cas would believe him. But then, Anna had left days ago so why shouldn't he.

Cas' face was neutral and didn't give any of his thoughts away as he opened the door and stepped back to allow Dean inside. They went into the living room, which hadn't changed since Dean had last been there and sat down.

"Don't you own more books?" Dean asked pointing at the lone book that was still the only thing occupying the bookshelf they had assembled together.

"I haven't had the time to unpack more."Cas simply said and when it became clear that he wasn't going to elaborate Dean started to explain about Anna. He started with when they had been a couple and how things had ended. Then he continued with what Anna had told him about Mike and how she had finally gotten away with her friends' help.

He explained that Anna had come to him for help and he had let her stay one night because she'd seemed so desperate. "I had no idea that she was going to kiss me. You have to believe me, Cas. I was trying to push her away when you came by. I'm really sorry that this happened but now she's gone." This was all he could say and afterwards he just sat there, looking at Cas and waiting for a reaction.

"She's gone?" Cas asked as if he needed confirmation.

"Yes, she left right the next day with a friend of hers." Dean confirmed.

"Then why did I see her going into your apartment when I drove by on my way home this afternoon?" Cas asked in a tone that was void of any emotions.

"She's what? Why… no, she left!" Dean called out, shocked that Cas apparently didn't believe a word he had said.

"She was there this afternoon. Why would she be at your place when she left days ago? I think you should leave now. I wouldn't have asked you to come if I'd known about that this morning." Cas told Dean with a blank face.

Dean was so surprised that at first he didn't react to that at all. Only when Cas got up he followed the example and got up as well. "Cas, I don't…" Dean started to say without really knowing how to continue. He was still too surprised by this development, he wasn't even able to fight for what he wanted, which was to be with Cas. It all made no sense to him.

"Whatever you have to say, I don't want to hear it. Now please go." Cas pushed Dean in the direction of the door and Dean was still so confused that he let himself be pushed outside until he found himself out on the street. For a few minutes he just stood there and stared at the closed door until the numbness he was feeling subsided and he came back to his senses.

He had to go home and find out what the hell was going on. Why did Cas think that Anna was still there? He turned and walked down the street towards his house and he could already tell from a distance that someone really was in his apartment. The light in the kitchen was on and he knew for sure that he had switched it off when he had left in the morning. Something was definitely wrong and whoever was there was responsible for ruining his attempt to make things right between him and Cas.

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><p><strong>I know this is a terrible place to stop but I've already started working on the next chapter and I'll update very soon :)<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry for torturing you guys with that terrible cliffhanger at the end of the last chapter. Please accept the next chapter as my way of apologizing. And thanks to Angelic Abomination for inspiring part of this chapter.**

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><p>Dean walked into his kitchen looking for the intruder. He was mad as hell. What had been an attempt to make things better had somehow ended up making things even worse. At first he hadn't believed that Cas had really seen Anna, but then he had noticed the light in his kitchen and he was pretty sure that Cas had been right all along.<p>

And now Dean could see it for himself. Anna was back. She was standing in his kitchen cooking dinner for two people. She had already set the table with his best dishes. They weren't really anything special but they matched and they weren't chipped in any places. There were also candles and wine on the table. She must have even brought the wineglasses because Dean didn't own any. He wasn't much of a wine drinker.

At the moment Anna was busy cooking steaks. A bowl with a green salad was sitting on the kitchen counter next to a fresh pie. In the oven Dean could see potatoes wrapped in foil which were staying warm until needed. She had cooked one of his favorite dinners from when they had been a couple. Was she really expecting that to soothe him, to make him forget everything and let her stay?

Probably that was her plan but it had a completely different effect on Dean. He had entered the house mad as hell, now he was furious.

"Anna!" It took every bit of his strength to control his anger and not outright yell at her but her name came out as a growl. In this one word he made it very clear what he thought about her being here and Anna actually flinched when she heard him.

She recovered quickly though. "Hi honey. You're just in time for dinner." she said sweetly as she turned around to smile at him. Dean had not expected this and he was so surprised by how absurd this situation was he forgot that he was angry for a moment.

"How did you get in?" he finally asked after realizing that simply staring was not enough to figure out what the hell was going on here.

"With a key of course, silly." She chuckled quietly and was completely unfazed by his look of utter disbelief as she went to the table and slid the steaks from the pan onto the plates.

"You stole my spare key?"

Only now did Anna turn to look at him, really look at him. She seemed to slowly realize that Dean wasn't as pleased about her presence as she had hoped.

"You fucking stole my spare key? What the hell, Anna?" Dean had recovered from his confusion. His anger was back and he was letting it show. Anna was silent now and just stared at him with wide eyes.

"You know what, I don't want to deal with your shit right now. I'm leaving and when I come back in the morning I want you gone." He didn't wait for an answer. He didn't want to hear any excuses and he didn't want to spend another minute in her presence. He didn't even care that Anna was driving him out of his own home. At the moment he just needed to get away from her and her madness.

On his way out he slammed the front door shut very hard. It closed with a satisfying bang. Once he sat behind the wheel of his car he rested his head on his hands which were holding the steering wheel. He took a deep breath to calm down a little bit and think. When he had told Anna he was leaving he had no idea where he was actually going. He had just known he couldn't stay there and he also knew he didn't want to sleep in his car.

Finally he decided to go and grace Sam with his presence. Sam would understand and let him crash at his place for a night. And maybe he also had an idea about what to do with Anna and how to fix things with Cas. Yes, going to see his little brother definitely sounded like a good plan, he thought as he started the car.

Sam had absolutely no problem with letting his big brother stay with him for a night even though he couldn't quite understand why Dean hadn't kicked Anna out. Sometimes Dean was just too nice for his own good. They talked for quite a while that night, Dean telling Sam everything that had happened that night and asking for his advice on what to do now. It had felt good to be able to talk about everything and if he believed in such things he would have prayed and thanked God for giving him such a great brother.

Dean slept surprisingly well that night despite the uncomfortable makeshift bed on Sam's dorm room floor. When he woke up in the morning he felt well rested and ready for a day on which he seriously needed to find a way to fix his fucked up personal life. He got up to see that Sam was already gone so he quickly put away his pillow and blankets and left for work. He was pretty sure that Anna hadn't left yet and he didn't want to see her again so soon. He'd have to deal with her after work and that was soon enough.

Sam had stayed up long after Dean had already started snoring. He felt bad for his brother and really wanted to help him somehow. It wasn't fair that things had fallen apart like they had without any of it being Dean's fault. He had slept for only a few hours and woken up before Dean with a plan. He had let his brother sleep and quietly left the room. It was still very early but he didn't care. He was going to talk to Cas now.

On his way to Cas' place he passed Dean's apartment and he could see Anna moving around inside. Dean had been right, she was still there. Sam instantly felt a surge of anger directed at Anna. He had never really trusted her but he had tolerated her because Dean had been happy. Now he really hated the bitch. But he hadn't come to deal with Anna. No, that was something Dean had to handle on his own. Sam was here to talk some sense into Cas.

He went up to the house and noticed that the windows were still dark. He knocked on the door anyway; maybe Cas was already awake or would hear his knocking. But nothing happened and the house stayed dark and quiet. Sam wasn't going to give up that easily though, so he sat down on the steps leading to the front door and waited.

He woke up again when Cas touched his shoulder. For a moment Sam was confused and didn't know where he was right away. But he quickly remembered where he was and why was there.

"Oh, hey Cas."

"Good morning, Sam. What are you doing out here?"

"I need to talk to you. About Dean." Cas' smile faded immediately at the mention of Dean's name. "He spent the night sleeping on the floor at my dorm room to get away from Anna." Sam quickly added before Cas could say anything else and maybe even tell him to get lost.

"Alright, I'll listen. Let's go inside, I'll make some coffee." Cas agreed and Sam let out a sigh of relief.

Over coffee Sam told Cas everything that Dean had told him the night before and Cas listened patiently. He seemed to be willing to believe Sam, especially now that he knew that Dean had not spent the night with Anna that he had even left his own home to get away from her.

"He didn't know Anna was back. She had stolen his spare key and he was furious about that." Sam ended and Cas looked at him for a moment without saying a word.

"I really messed up, didn't I?" he quietly asked after what felt like an eternity of silence.

Sam nodded. "You both did, I think. But you can still fix this. Go over there tonight when Dean gets home from work. If Anna is gone by then – great. If she's still there – make her leave. I haven't seen Dean as happy as he was after your guys' date in a long time. And I'm pretty sure you were happy, too." At this point Cas nodded. "Then don't just throw it away." Sam concluded with the feeling that he had really gotten through to Cas.

Meanwhile Dean was at work, wondering how to get rid of Anna. He decided to call Lisa and see what had happened. It turned out that Anna had told Lisa that Mike was no longer a threat and that she was going back to Los Angeles. Lisa had not known that Anna had instead gone back to Dean and she promised to come over after work to talk to Anna and take her with her again.

Dean had been dreading the moment when his work was done for the day and he had to go home and face Anna. But he couldn't put it off any longer and he was very surprised at seeing Cas walking down the street towards him with Sam in tow for moral support. Sam had insisted to come along, just in case. He knew his older brother could be terribly stubborn sometimes and he wanted to make sure things went well tonight.

"Dean. I'm sorry for not believing you. Sam explained everything to me." Cas greeted Dean.

"Yeah, well. You were right about Anna being back so I get how that would seem suspicious." Dean gave Cas a small smile which Cas returned.

In silent agreement they went inside Dean's apartment to finally confront Anna. When she saw Dean she quickly came towards him, clearly with the intention to hug him but Cas wasn't having any of that and he stepped between them, stopping Anna's approach.

"Stop right there." he told her fiercely with his hand outstretched in a 'stop' gesture. Anna gave him a confused look that quickly turned into one of annoyance.

"You're not with Dean anymore and he doesn't want you back." he continued, completely concentrated on Anna and therefore unable to see the astonished faces of Sam and Dean. Especially Dean had not expected this reaction. "Dean is mine now and you really need to back off."

"You should listen to him." Lisa, who had quietly joined them, told her.

"But I don't understand." Anna complained and she looked so lost that this was even believable.

"Let me make this clearer then." Cas said and then he turned to face Dean who was still trying to process what was happening. Cas pulled him towards him and kissed him. The kiss wasn't sweet or gently or loving. It was possessive. Cas was marking Dean as his in front of Anna and Dean was surprised to have to admit that he liked this side of Cas.

Anna finally seemed to understand and without another word she looked at Lisa as if waiting for her to tell her what to do now. She seemed broken and if she hadn't made his life miserable for the last week Dean would have felt pity for her. Maybe he still would, later. Right now he was just happy that she was finally leaving.

Lisa took Anna's hand and gently pulled her to the door. "My car is right there at the curb. It's open. Why don't you go and get inside? I'll be right there." Anna just nodded and walked towards the car.

"I'm sorry about this. She's not the most stable person at the moment. I'll look after her." Lisa apologized to them and then she followed Anna to the car.

Sam decided that this was a good time to leave as well. Dean and Cas looked like they needed some time for themselves now and he had accomplished his goal. Smiling he went out the door and when he turned around once more to close the front door he could see his brother and Cas kissing again and this time it looked like a good passionate kiss, just like it should.


	12. Chapter 12

**As you may have noticed I changed the rating now after writing this chapter, I guess you know what that means. I had no idea where this story would go when I started writing it and I'm sorry if I'm taking things too far for you. It's not too graphic though, I think. I just wanted to be on the safe side. Hope you enjoy.**

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><p>Dean and Cas hardly noticed Sam leaving. They were too busy with each other. It had been a few days since they'd last been together like this and now they took a moment to reacquaint themselves with the other. They used lips and tongues to explore the other's mouth and their hands were roaming freely over their bodies.<p>

"I'm glad you came here tonight." Dean whispered when they broke from their kiss the first time for air.

"I'm sorry I didn't believe you. I should have come earlier." Cas apologized while at the same time placing little kisses on Dean's jaw line, tracing it to the earlobe which he gently took between his teeth. Dean moaned softly at this and then made a sound of protest when Cas pulled back a little and released his ear to look at Dean.

"It doesn't matter. You're here now." Dean told him and pulled Cas closer for another kiss.  
>Cas allowed the kiss for a moment but when Dean's hands found their way under his shirt he pulled away again.<p>

"Dean, wait. We should talk about this." he said a little breathless. It was very hard to not just enjoy this moment but he wanted to talk to Dean first, wanted him to understand, now before anything more happened between them.

"I don't wanna talk right now." Dean almost pouted and followed Cas who had taken a step back to steal another kiss.

Cas only halfheartedly tried to stop Dean and ended up finding himself backed into the wall with Dean pressed close to him. He turned his head to the side though when Dean leaned in again because he knew he wouldn't be able to hold back much longer, especially not if Dean kissed him now. Dean hardly seemed to mind though and he sure as hell wasn't that easily deterred. He just licked and kissed and sucked the places he could reach, starting in the crook of Cas' neck and slowly working his way up. In response Cas shuddered in pleasure.

He found this to be just as distracting as a full-on kiss on the mouth. "Dean, please. Stop. We have all night, but we really should talk about the last week." he tried again but to no avail. Dean wasn't in the mood to talk.

"You're here now and we could just forget the last week if you only wanted." he answered against Cas' skin. He was slowly getting frustrated now with Cas' lack of participation and stopped his attempts to seduce the other man. He started to back away but Cas grabbed his shirt and pulled him back. Dean leaned in closer again and loosely put his arms around the man in front of him.

"I want to explain why I ran away when I saw you with Anna. Why I didn't stay to clear the situation up right then." Cas said and finally Dean was ready, though reluctantly, to listen.

"Yes, I wondered about that. It would have saved us a lot of trouble. But honestly, all that matters is that we're here now, together." Dean replied, dropped his arms from around Cas' body and instead gripped his hands and squeezed them reassuringly. Cas looked at him and gave him a small smile.

"That is nice to know, but still..." he let the sentence trail off and took a deep breath. "When I saw you with Anna I thought the thing that I had expected had finally happened." He held up a hand when he saw Dean getting ready to protest. "No, let me say this. It was all almost too good to be true, that you would really want to be with me. I think I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. And when I thought I saw you kissing her it just proved my assumption and that was all it took. It was stupid, I know, but I couldn't help it at the moment. It has happened before, so I thought I was protecting myself when really I just hurt us both."

"Cas." Dean said softly and in a pained voice when Cas stopped talking for a moment. "Why would you think that?"

"Because it happened to me before. With someone who was a lot like you. He had never dated a man before he met me. Have you?" he asked quietly looking Dean directly in the eyes. Dean could only shake his head. The pain he saw shining in Cas' deep blue eyes was almost too much and he felt the urge to punch whoever had hurt Cas like that.

"It went really well in the beginning." Cas continued. "I was so happy that I didn't notice the things that were strange. How we never went anywhere in public, how he had no time for me on weekend nights. Not even when I saw him with a girl at a bar one night did I get suspicious. I guess I just didn't want to see it. So I ignored all the hints until I walked in on him, in bed with that same girl. And then he pretended that nothing ever happened between us."

Cas looked at the ground now but Dean gently gripped his chin and lifted Cas' head until they locked gazes again. "Oh, Cas. So when you saw me with Anna you thought it had happened all over again."

Cas nodded. "I didn't want to be that blind again. I'm sorry I ran."

"I'd never do that to you." Dean whispered and bent his head down to capture Cas' lips in a kiss to make him forget about everything that had happened. And judging by the way that Cas started to respond after a moment and how he pressed his body against Dean's it seemed to work.

"Are we done talking now?" Dean whispered against Cas' lips. Instead of answering Cas just opened his mouth a little more and licked along Dean's lips until they parted and allowed him inside. The kiss deepened and became passionate with an almost desperate edge.

Dean pressed Cas' back into the wall again, his lips never leaving the other man's mouth. Cas started tugging Dean's shirt up and he lifted his arms to help Cas getting the shirt off him. When he felt Cas' fingers trailing over his naked chest he pressed closer again, feeling a bulge in Cas' pants that matched his own. He ground against it experimentally, making them both moan loudly.

Dean now tried to get Cas' shirt off as well but Cas had found Dean's nipple with his mouth and was now licking and carefully biting it, which distracted Dean too much to successfully undress his partner. But his moans only seemed to encourage Cas and he awarded equal attention to both nipples. Finally he seemed to notice Dean tugging on his shirt and he straightened and pushed himself off the wall and switched their positions in one smooth motion. Now it was Dean's back that was pressed against the wall.

Cas took a step back and ignored Dean's involuntary whimper at losing skin contact. Dean couldn't believe the sounds he was making but he was already too far gone to really care. All he wanted was to touch Cas again who was now slowly and seductively slipping out of his shirt before he finally came back to Dean who just stared in awe and waited.

Then it was his turn to explore the half naked body before him enjoying the feel of the hard chest under his hands and lips that was so different from what he was used to. He took his time, not wanting to miss a single spot, reveling in the sounds he caused Cas to make. Cas' hands roamed over Dean's arms and shoulders, slowly stopping at the tattoo on Dean's arm before moving on. He could do this the night, Dean thought, just as Cas suddenly palmed his cock and slowly rubbed it through the layers of clothing. Dean almost forgot to breath and leaned fully against the wall for support.

Cas seized his chance of having Dean's face right in front of his own again and kissed him while at the same time trying to get Dean's jeans open for better access. Dean realized that this was an excellent idea and clumsily he managed to open Cas' pants as well, mirroring his actions. Finally the clothes were out of the way and they both stroked the other's cock starting slowly, tentatively. But just as their kisses between moans and gasps became deeper and needier the movements of their hands got faster.

Then Cas suddenly squeezed Dean's cock a little harder, stroked him a little bit rougher and Dean came with what would have been a scream if Cas' mouth hadn't been covering his. And then Cas tensed and shuddered as he came, too. Dean's reaction had been enough to finish him off. He slumped forwards and leaned against Dean who put his arms around him in a loving embrace. Panting they stood like that for a while until the drying sweat on their bodies made them feel cold and they decided to clean up and then go to bed.

They lay in bed underneath the warm blanket facing each other and Cas lazily let his fingers trail over Dean's arm, finding the tattoo again. It was a handprint on his upper arm, as if someone had gripped him there and left a mark.

"That is an unusual tattoo." Cas remarked after tracing it over and over for a moment. "Is there a story behind it?"

Dean turned his head to look at his arm. "My Dad used to put his hand there when he had to leave and he wanted to remind me to take good care of Sammy. When we got older he didn't do that anymore but I got the tattoo to remind myself to look after Sam and everyone who's important to me. That includes you now." He softly kissed Cas on the lips.

Cas placed his hand on top of the tattoo. He had been right, in a way his father had left a permanent mark on Dean and he thought he understood Dean a little better now. Cas aligned his fingers with the handprint, covering it perfectly. "It fits." He left his hand there for a moment before he continued to speak. "But I don't need you to take care of me or anyone else except yourself."He knew that this wasn't in Dean's nature but he still had needed to say this.

Dean just smiled and pulled him a little bit closer. Cas propped himself up on his elbow and softly kissed the tattoo. Then he lay back down to just look into Dean's eyes and just enjoyed being close to him. Dean felt the same way but there was something he wanted to know, too.

"Since we're speaking of unusual things, Castiel is not a very common name, is it?"

"No, it's not very common. It's the name of the Angel of Thursday actually."

"An angel, hmm?" Dean whispered.

"Yes. My parents thought they couldn't have children of their own. When my Mom was pregnant with me it was like a miracle for them. And when I was born on a Thursday they gave me the name Castiel, because they said that I was their angel."

"An angel!" Dean repeated softly and then they just kissed for a long time that night before falling asleep until the ringing of a phone woke them up the next morning.


	13. Chapter 13

**My weekend plans got suddenly cancelled and since the weather is not at all what you'd expect for summer I had a lot of time on my hands and spent it reading and writing. Good for you, too, 'cause now this chapter is done :)**

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><p>"This better be important."Dean groaned as he recognized his ringtone and sat up to look for his phone.<p>

"Let it go to voice mail." Cas suggested and his voice was gruffer than usual, probably from sleep. He sounded so sexy that moment that Dean really was tempted to just ignore the call. Before he reached a decision the ringing stopped and Dean lay back down. But just as his back hit the mattress the phone rang again.

"Oh, fuck this!" Dean sighed and slid out of bed to follow the sound of his phone to where his jeans were lying in a crumpled heap on the floor from last night still. The whole time he could feel Cas' eyes travelling over his naked backside and he thoroughly enjoyed the feeling. His phone was in one of the pockets and he pulled it out and flipped it open before the call ended again.

"Hello." he growled hoping to make it clear that he wasn't in a mood to talk.

"Well, hello grumpy. Did I interrupt something?" an amused sounding female voice asked.

"Just my beauty sleep, Jo. What do you want?" Dean replied upon recognizing her voice.

"Had a late night, did we. Is she still there?" Jo teased him but Dean didn't appreciate her insinuation about his love life. Although a few months ago this question would have been an accurate way to describe it.

"Shut up and tell me what you want." he told her and was at first irritated at hearing her chuckle before he realized that what he had said didn't really make much sense.

"Just tell me, okay?"

"Well, I just wanted to remind you of dinner tonight. Remember, you promised to be there when Mom and I got back from our trip."

"That is tonight?"

"Yes it is. And don't you dare make up an excuse or I'll come over there and drag your ass to the table myself." Jo threatened and even though Dean doubted she could physically drag him anywhere he wasn't going to risk it. Jo was a very determined young woman and she usually got what she wanted.

"Alright, I'll be there." he conceded.

"You better be." she told him and then hung up. Shaking his head Dean put the phone away and returned to bed where Cas was waiting for him.

"Everything alright?" Cas asked with a slightly worried expression.

"Yeah, Jo just reminded me that I have a family dinner to attend to tonight. She was very convincing, too." Dean explained with a grimace at the thought what Jo might do to him should he not show up.

"She?" Cas' voice suddenly sounded a few degrees colder than before.

"Yes. But chill, man. She's like a sister to me. There's nothing to worry about." And it was true. Ellen was Bobby's second wife and Jo was her daughter from her first marriage. They were very close to the Winchester family, Bobby was John's oldest and pretty much only friend, and Jo had always just felt like a little sister to Dean, ever since he met her.

"Oh, sorry." Cas mumbled quietly.

"Don't be. Not when being jealous makes you look as sexy as you look right now." Dean softly said, scooting close to Cas and just looking at him for a little bit, taking in the stunning beauty of his partner right this moment. Not that he would say anything like that out loud but that didn't mean he couldn't think it.

And Cas looked irresistibly beautiful and sexy this morning. His usually unruly dark hair was a complete mess and had never looked better. His dark blue eyes were staring at Dean with an absolutely breathtaking intensity, a hint of jealously still shining through and this made Dean reach out to gently touch Cas' cheek and then run his fingers through his partner's hair which just begged to be touched.

When his hand finally rested at the back of Cas' head he slowly pulled him closer until their lips almost met.

"I could get used to waking up next to you." he whispered, his lips brushing across Cas' with every word.

"Hmm, me too." Cas whispered back in the same fashion and then they closed the space between them and kissed deep and very, very slowly for a long time. Their naked bodies were pressed together, their legs tangled in the attempt to leave no space between them if at all possible. For the moment this was all they needed and they were content to just lie like that and kiss.

It was a perfect moment and Dean decided they should stay like this until it was time to get up and get ready for work. Suddenly he wasn't mad at Jo anymore, for waking them so early. It gave him more time with Cas now. But the moment turned out to be shorter than he had hoped when another ringtone broke the comfortable silence in the apartment.

"Dammit, that's mine." Cas softly cursed as he pulled away from Dean and rolled over to get out of bed to find his phone.

"Next time we really need to turn these damn things off." Dean said, watching Cas looking through his clothes for the phone. At least now it was his turn to enjoy the view, he thought.

"Definitely." Cas agreed and then answered the phone. "Hello?"

For a few minutes he just listened, his face giving nothing away as to what the call might be about. "Okay, don't worry. I'm on my way." he finally ended the call and looked over at Dean.

"That was Claire. She's been arrested. Damn Gabriel. I have to go and get her out." Cas quickly explained as he started to get dressed.

"Whoa, slow down and run that by me again." Dean told him getting out of bed now to collect his clothes and get dressed as well. "So your sister's been arrested. What happened and who is Gabriel?"

"Okay. My sister just got engaged. When I was gone those few days I was with my family and her and her fiancé Balthazar to celebrate and get to know him. His family owns a summer house not too far from here and we all met there. His brother Gabriel was delayed and arrived after we all had already left and only Claire and Balthazar were still there. Apparently he wanted to celebrate with them and took things too far. They all were arrested last night. My parents are already back home and too far away to get there quickly. And also Claire doesn't want them to know."

"Wow, I understand that you have to go. I'd do the same for Sam."

Cas smiled at him. "I know."

"Do you know what exactly happened?" Dean asked out of curiosity. He'd only seen Claire once but she hadn't struck him as the type of girl that would easily get herself in trouble.

"I don't know. She just said it was Gabriel's fault but I don't know what he did." He sighed. "I've never even met the guy and already I don't like him."

"Good thing Claire isn't marrying him then. What is Balthazar like?" Dean asked while he watched Cas tying his shoes.

"He was cocky and arrogant at first and I couldn't understand what Claire saw in him. But after getting to him for a few days I have to say he's actually an okay guy. And she's happy with him that's the most important thing."

Cas straightened and was now ready to go. He came over to stand in front of Dean, taking his hands. "I'll give you a call tonight; let you know how things worked out and when I'll be back."

"You do that." he replied and pulled the smaller man closer to kiss him goodbye. They took their time, not really wanting to let go but eventually Cas pulled away.

"I'll call you." he repeated and then he left.

Dean watched him drive away and then started making coffee. He decided he didn't much like Gabriel either because it was his fault that Cas had to leave early. But at least the dinner didn't sound so bad anymore since now he didn't have anything better to do anyway and it would make the time pass faster until he'd see Cas again.

He slowly got ready for the day, looking forward to talking to Cas that night. Hearing his voice would be better than nothing.


	14. Chapter 14

**Sorry to have kept you waiting, but here is the next part. No 'angels' in this one, sorry, but Gabe and Balthazar will be in the next one, I hope you can wait a little bit longer ;) Until then, enjoy reading this part.**

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><p>Sam and Dean were the last to arrive at Bobby's. Sam had called Dean around noon and asked him to pick him up. Dean suspected that Jo had put him up to that. So even though he had expected to pick up his little brother, knowing that Jo was behind this made him want to be late on purpose just to annoy her.<p>

They still had plenty of time until dinner though. Ellen and Jo had a lot to tell and many things to show them all from their trip and they had decided to do that before they ate. It was actually a lot of fun to listen to their stories and see the pictures of the places they had visited. Before they knew it Ellen was calling them to the table because the food was ready.

Dean had been so caught up in Jo's story about how she had gotten lost on a Greek island and how a very nice local had finally helped her and then offered to show her some of the best spots on the island, he hadn't noticed how late it had gotten. Apparently it hadn't hurt that he'd been her age and very attractive. Most of her pictures from that part of the trip included him and Dean had to admit that he could see the appeal.

This kind of shocked Dean because he had never had any thoughts like this before he had met Cas. But damn, he'd had sex with the guy. It was a little late to panic now. He should just accept that he wasn't as straight as he had always considered himself. At least not when it came to Cas. And remembering how sexy Cas had looked that morning when he'd just woken up helped Dean a lot to get over his little panic attack.

When he sat down at the table with the rest of his family he already felt like his usual confident self again and was ready to enjoy Ellen's awesome cooking and endure any personal questions that she and Jo probably had after being gone for a few weeks.

And he was right. As soon as they were all pretty much done with eating Jo asked him about that morning. Dean just told her that he was seeing someone, not wanting to lie and say he had a girlfriend but not quite ready yet to tell everyone that he had in fact a boyfriend.

"Good for you. How long have you two been going out?" Ellen joined the conversation smiling warmly at Dean.

"A couple of weeks now. We kinda had a rough start but things are going well now." Dean told her hoping that this would be enough information for now and spare him further questioning. Unfortunately for him Jo was not yet satisfied.

"What's her name and when do we get to meet her?" Jo asked sounding curious but also a bit challenging, as if she wasn't sure that Dean was really telling the truth about being in a relationship.

"Yes, you should bring her to our next family dinner. We're all curious." John agreed and everyone at the table looked expectantly at Dean who didn't really know what to say to get out of this situation. He was feeling very uncomfortable at the moment, with all eyes on him.

"Maybe I can bring someone then, too." Sam said suddenly very cheerfully. He made it seem as if he hadn't been able to hold back these news any longer, but when everyone's attention was on him he gave Dean a small wink and Dean smiled back. Sam had distracted their family on purpose and Dean was grateful for his help.

Then he listened to Sam talking about this girl Jess he had just met. He hadn't known about her either and was of course curious to hear about her. Apparently Sam hadn't known her very long but they had gone out a few times and he really liked her. It was obvious on his face when he talked about her.

"So, how did you meet her?" John wanted to know.

"At the library. We needed the same book and sat down at a table to share it. I think we talked more about other things though. " Everybody smiled at this. It was so like Sam to meet a girl in the library, but they were happy that he had apparently met someone who shared the same interests.

Sam kept talking about Jess for quite a while because he was so happy to have met her that he just couldn't stop, but also to make sure that Dean was safe from further questions about his own relationship.

It turned out to be a very enjoyable evening after that and no one asked Dean anymore questions about his love life. They just all talked about whatever was going on in the world. When Sam got a phone call he excused himself from the table to take the call in private. He came back a bit later with a serious look on his face and went to stand next to Dean.

"That was Claire. She called about Cas." he told him quietly resting a hand on Dean's shoulder. Dean looked up at his brother the laughter about the joke someone had made dying immediately as he saw his brother's expression. Suddenly he felt scared.

"What about him?" he managed to say when Sam didn't continue quickly enough.

"He was in a car accident on his way to the police station. He's in the hospital now." Sam explained trying but failing to keep Dean in his seat with the hand on his shoulder.

Dean jumped up so forcefully that he knocked over his chair and Sam stumbled a few steps back. "How is he and where exactly is he?" he asked urgently in a voice laced with fear.

"I don't know how he is. Claire said he was unconscious when he was brought in and she hasn't talked to the doctor yet."

Dean just stared at his brother with wide eyes. He didn't know what to say or how exactly to react, he was too worried about Cas to think straight.

The others were just looking at the brothers, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. John was the first one to speak and he addressed Dean in an attempt to make sense of what he had just heard.

"I don't know why she called Sam but it seems like your girlfriend Claire's brother was in an accident and she doesn't know how bad he is hurt. Am I right?" He wasn't sure if he had gotten this right, the situation was a little unusual and now he looked at his sons expectantly, waiting for an answer.

Sam and Dean shared a short confused look before understanding John's misconception about Claire and Cas and their connection to Dean. Sam shrugged and looked at Dean, silently telling him that it was his choice what to say now. Dean was so worried about Cas and all he wanted was to get out of there and go to the hospital, he didn't really care anymore whether he told everyone the truth now. Making up a lie required too much thinking for the moment anyway.

"No, you're wrong. Cas is Claire's brother yes. But I'm not with her I'm with him. Cas is my boyfriend." he said impatiently, trying to push past Sam, who was blocking the way, to get to his car. He needed to get to the hospital to see Cas. Nothing else mattered at the moment, not even the dumbstruck faces his father, Bobby, Ellen and Jo wore.

"So what, you're gay now?" Jo asked after a moment.

"What? No. I don't know. All I know is that with Cas it doesn't matter. And now let me go Sam." He shouted glaring at her and then tried to push Sam out of the way again.

"No, Dean. You can't drive like this, you'll just get in an accident yourself." Sam tried to reason with his older brother but Dean wouldn't listen.

"I don't care, I need to get to him." Dean yelled at his brother who still didn't move.

"You were with him already when I told you about Anna, weren't you?" John asked suddenly and his quiet voice got through to Dean.

"Yes, Dad. I'm sorry to disappoint you." For a moment Dean had forgotten that he wanted to leave as soon as possible and stopped pushing against Sam.

"I'm not disappointed, Dean. I liked Anna because she seemed good for you at the time. I just want you to be happy. Are you happy with him?"

"Yes, Dad. I'm happy with him. I love him." Dean admitted and surprised himself because he had only realized this the moment he said it out loud.

"Good. Then you should go now and see how he is." John told him and Dean nodded.

"I'm coming with you." Sam now said and quickly continued when Dean was ready to tell him he couldn't come. "I'm not discussing this with you. Cas is my friend, too and I'm coming with you. Also you're in no state to drive."

Dean still looked ready to protest but now Bobby interfered. "He's right, boy. Give him the keys and then get the hell out of here."

Dean looked around one more time but he could tell that the others all agreed with Sam and Bobby so he finally gave in and handed Sam the car keys. "Fine. I don't know where the hospital is anyway."

He then just grabbed Sam's sleeve and pulled him out of the house and to the car to prevent any more talking. Now that his coming out was over, which strangely had calmed him down, he just wanted to get to Cas as soon as possible and if Sam didn't move fast enough he would take his keys back, no matter how stupid that might be.


	15. Chapter 15

**It took me a day longer to finish this, the middle part really slowed me down. I hope the wait wasn't too bad and on the bright side, this chapter is slightly longer than the previous ones. Hope you enjoy.**

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><p>The drive didn't take very long. Traffic was light and Sam drove as fast as he dared without risking being pulled over for speeding. But to Dean it felt like an eternity until they reached the hospital. An eternity for his mind to conjure all kinds of terrible scenarios as to what had happened to Cas, one worse than the other. He felt like was about to go mad from worrying so much so instead he drove Sam crazy by constantly criticizing his driving.<p>

"Come on, Sam. The freakin' road is free. Floor it!"

"I'm already going too fast, Dean. I want to get there as much as you do but I'd like to make it in one piece." Sam answered in a tone that left no room for discussion.

Dean tried anyway and just earned him a hard stare from Sam but their speed didn't change. Dean still kept on bitching at Sam because it was the only thing that kept him from thinking and he didn't want to think right now. Sam stayed quiet and let Dean rant and insult him, knowing that he was scared out of his mind and didn't really mean what he was saying.

The drive was uncomfortable for both brothers but eventually it was over and Sam pulled up to the curb in front of the hospital. Dean was out of the car before it had even stopped and was already halfway to the entrance by the time Sam had gotten out and he had to hurry to follow his brother.

He found Dean in the waiting area where he had met Claire and was currently explaining who he was and why he was there. Claire nodded and took his hands and squeezed them briefly and when she saw Sam approaching she met him and hugged him tightly.

"How is he?" Dean anxiously asked after introductions were finally out of the way.

"He'll be okay." was the first thing she told them and both Winchesters visibly relaxed at those news. "He has a mild concussion and a dislocated shoulder. Apart from that just a few cuts and bruises. He was really lucky."

"Oh, thank God. Can I see him?" Dean asked relieved to hear that Cas' injuries were relatively harmless.

"He's asleep now, but I'll show you where his room is." Claire turned and led the way down the hall with Sam and Dean following behind her. Finally she stopped in front of a door and carefully looked inside before opening it and letting the brothers enter.

Cas was lying in bed fast asleep. His head was bandaged and his left arm was in a sling. Bruises were starting to form on his cheek and on his right arm. Probably at other places as well, Dean thought, but the rest of Cas' body was covered with a blanket. Apparently he had also needed stitches in at least one place but things could have been a lot worse.

The three of them stood around the bed watching the sleeping man in front of them for a while without saying a word until a nurse came and told them to leave the room and let the patient rest now that they knew he was going to be okay. Reluctantly the followed her orders and took seats in the waiting area where Claire had been when the Winchesters had arrived.

"So, how did you get out of jail then? Or did Cas have the accident after getting you out?" Sam asked after a long moment of uncomfortable silence. He felt a little awkward for asking this but anything was better than not talking at all.

"No, he had the accident on his way here. God, this is all my fault." Claire had been very composed the whole time but now she sounded close to tears and Sam and Dean took seats on either side of her, Sam taking her hand and Dean putting an arm around her shoulder to comfort her.

"No Claire. Don't ever think that. It wasn't your fault, it was an accident. And if want to blame anyone blame this Gabriel dude. He was the one who got you all arrested, wasn't he?"

Claire almost laughed at Dean's words and with the sleeve of her sweater wiped the tears, which had started to fall, from her cheeks.

"Yes, you're right. It was Gabriel's fault. But he was also the one who got us out of jail again." She actually had a faint smile on her face now and looked as if she still couldn't really believe what had happened the night before and that she had been a part of it. Dean was about to ask what it was that had gotten them arrested. The look on her face made him curious. But Sam was faster and asked a different question.

"Where are they now? I mean, at least your fiancé should be here with you, shouldn't he?"

"He was here. He stayed until we knew more about Cas' condition then he went back to the police station. Gabriel made some kind of deal with the circus and stayed behind to figure out the details. Balthazar went back to help him. They'll come back here when they're done." she explained.

Dean was just about to ask what a circus had to do with all this when a blonde man came around the corner and Claire jumped up and hugged him and he held her close and soothingly stroked her hair.

"Hello, darling. How is he and how are you holding up?" he asked her when they came over to where Sam and Dean sitting, who were surprised to hear he had a British accent.

"I'm managing. Cas is still sleeping." Claire replied quietly. "Balthazar, these are Sam and Dean. They're Cas' friends." she then introduced the three men to each other.

"Dean. I've heard a lot about you." Balthazar told him with a smirk when he and Claire had sat down opposite the Winchesters. Whatever he had heard couldn't be very good, because the way he said this felt like a challenge to Dean but he could be wrong. Maybe it was just his demeanor which made it seem as if he owned this place. And the mischievous glint in his light blue eyes could have just been a trick of light.

Before Dean could figure out an appropriate answer another man came around the corner. He just finished eating a candy bar and sauntered over to their little group.

"Gabriel. I almost thought I had lost you." Balthazar greeted his brother.

"Nah, I'm not that easy to get rid of. All that negotiating just made me hungry." Gabriel replied and unlike his brother he spoke without any accent. Sam and Dean exchanged looks and both shrugged, unable to explain this.

Gabriel had noticed the little exchange between the brothers and came over to them sitting down next to Sam and leaning in closely.

"He went to college in England and just kept the accent. Always claimed the chicks were digging it." Gabriel quickly explained.

"They were, but that is all in the past. Now I only care what Claire thinks." Balthazar replied, smiling at her as she smiled up at him with obvious love and adoration.

Even though Dean wasn't sure what to think of Balthazar just yet, he couldn't deny that he and Claire were very much in love. And Cas had said he wasn't that bad once you got to know him so he just had to trust Cas' judgment at the moment. It wasn't his place to judge anyway.

Gabriel just shook his head and didn't say anything about that. Instead he turned to Sam and Dean again. "So, you already know who I am but I don't really know who you two are. Which one of you is the boyfriend?"

Surprised by his directness Dean slowly raised a hand. "That'd be me. I'm Dean, this is my brother Sam."

"Awesome." Gabriel smiled and slid even closer to Sam putting his arm on the back of Sam's chair. Sam gave his brother a look that clearly said 'what the fuck, help me out' but when he saw Dean fighting to hide his amusement he simply got up and left with the explanation that he needed to call Jess.

"I think I scared your brother." Gabriel pouted and Dean couldn't contain his laughter any longer despite his reason for being at the hospital. Maybe he had judged this guy too soon, maybe he wasn't that bad after all.

"So, tell me. What did you do to get you guys arrested? Claire mentioned a circus earlier."

"Yeah, I picked up Claire and Balthazar for the party I had planned for them. I thought their entrance should be really big and special and when we passed the circus on our way there I had the perfect idea. Sadly the police didn't think riding an elephant down the main street was such a good idea. They are such spoilsports." he lightly said with an amused grin on his face.

"You stole an elephant?" Dean couldn't believe what he had just heard.

"Yes, he did. And we didn't even make it to our own party." Claire verified Gabriel's story and now Dean almost fell off his chair from laughing so hard. Claire and Balthazar were smiling now, too.

"Good thing he has had some experience with being in jail and especially getting out of it." Balthazar added.

"Aww, it hasn't been that often." Gabriel mock-whined. But when he couldn't see it Balthazar held up five fingers for Dean.

"Okay, so how did you get out?"

"I made a call to the circus and promised them a generous donation for not pressing charges. The elephant wasn't harmed and I think it probably enjoyed our little trip. The circus was happy with that arrangement."

When Sam came back from his phone call he found a much happier group of people than he had left.

"How's Jess?" Dean asked when he sat back down, far away from Gabriel.

"She's fine. She would have come here, too, but her car is broken."

"Tell her I'll have a look at it when I'm back. It'll give me a chance to meet your girlfriend." Dean offered.

"Sure, I will." Sam agreed.

When the nurse approached them the conversation immediately stopped.

"Mr. Novak is awake now. He wants to see you. You have five minutes." she told them and before she was finished they had all gotten up and started towards Cas' room.

They all took places around the bed telling him how good it was to see him awake again and Claire held his uninjured hand the whole time. Cas smiled and thanked them all for being there. When the nurse came back to make them leave for the rest of the night Sam, Gabriel and Balthazar were the first to leave the room.

"I'll be back in the morning." Claire promised and kissed her brother on the forehead before she, too, left the room.

"I don't have much time now, but I promise I'll sneak back in later." Dean told Cas who smiled happily at the promise. Then Dean kissed him softly on the lips and left just as the nurse returned to make sure they had all left the room.

When Dean got to the waiting area Claire and Balthazar had already left the hospital.

"Sam, you take the car and go home if you want. I'll stay here and figure out a way to get back when Cas gets released." Dean offered.

Sam nodded. "Thanks, just give me a call and I'll pick you up then."

"I could drive you, then your brother could keep his car here. I'm going that direction anyway." Gabriel suddenly offered.

"Why would you do that?" Dean asked slightly suspicious.

Gabriel shrugged. "Call it making amends."

Dean didn't believe that one second but that didn't really matter. This was Sam's decision.

"I guess that would be alright. And then Dean has a car when he gets kicked out of here for sneaking into a patient's room." Sam answered after thinking about it for a moment. He winked at Dean as he said the last part.

"Well, drive safe and don't get my brother arrested." Dean told Gabriel and took the car keys back from Sam. "Thanks for everything tonight." he quietly told Sam and then went back to the waiting area to keep an eye on the nurse to see when it was safe to return to Cas.


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey guys. Again thank you all for all your support through reviews, alerts and favs so far. We're getting close to the end now. There ay or may not be another full chapter, depending on whether inspiration strikes ;) There will definitely be an epilogue kind of chapter so this is not the end, yet. And now, enjoy!**

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><p>Dean sat back down and watched the comings and goings of the nursing staff for about twenty minutes until he thought he had figured out some kind of routine. He knew of course that twenty minutes wasn't nearly enough time for that but he couldn't wait any longer. He needed to be with Cas. Now.<p>

Carefully looking around him to make sure no one was watching him he stood up and crept along the hallway to Cas' room. When he reached the door he looked around once more and when there was still no one in sight he cracked the door open and slipped inside the room.

"Cas, are you still awake?" he whispered into the dark room.

"Mmmhmm." came the sleepy response.

Dean smiled and moved towards the sound, dragging a chair over so he could sit next to the bed. He took Cas' uninjured hand in his and squeezed it lightly.

"I'm glad you came back." Cas whispered very softly, his words slurred from sleepiness and the painkillers he had probably received earlier.

"Of course." Dean said smiling in the darkness, his thumb gently rubbing the back of Cas' hand. "You scared me, you know that?" he continued after a moment.

"I'm sorry." Cas told him with guilt in his voice.

"Shhh, it wasn't your fault. Now try to sleep." Dean hushed him and briefly rested his free hand against Cas' cheek. He remained quiet and just listened to Cas' breathing change as he drifted off to sleep.

Dean leaned forward until his lips nearly touched Cas'. "I love you." he breathed against the sleeping man's skin before he sat back down.

"Love you, too." came the sleepy and barely audible and also unexpected response. Unexpected because Dean had been sure that Cas was already asleep. Apparently that wasn't quite the case and Cas' answer made Dean smile like a madman and he felt almost giddy with happiness. All he had wanted was to find out what it would feel like to say those words to Cas, as a test run so to speak.

As it turned out it felt very good to say them and even better to hear those same words directed at him. For a while he just sat there and watched Cas sleep, he really was asleep now, even though he could hardly see a thing in the darkness. That didn't matter to Dean.

Sometime during the night Dean rested his arms and head on the mattress next to Cas without ever letting go of his hand. It hadn't been a conscious decision to do this but it was more comfortable and he was tired and so he fell asleep there, sitting on a chair, resting most of his upper body on the hospital bed.

A nurse woke both of them the next morning. It was a good thing that this was a different nurse than last night though, Dean thought as he stretched his aching back. This nurse was very nice and seemed to think it was adorable that Dean had spent the night by Cas' side. This almost made Dean want to puke, but he didn't say anything because he didn't want to risk being thrown out after all.

The nurse only asked him to step outside while the doctor made his round and Dean used that time to find something to eat. While he was standing in line at the little coffee shop right next to the hospital he checked his phone and saw that he had missed a call from Sam who had then sent a text message instead.

'_Back home. Never riding with G. again. Think he came on to me. Creepy dude called me Sasquatch, wtf? Call when u r back.'_

Dean almost laughed out loud when he read that. Poor Sammy had probably wished he had accepted the offer to take the Impala on the entire ride home. Dean was pretty sure though Gabriel had only been messing with Sam, that he had quickly identified the best target to tease.

When he finally had his food and coffee he found a small table to sit down at and texted Sam back while he ate.

'_Hi Sasquatch. Doc's with Cas now. Call u when I know more.'_

Dean read the message once more before he sent it. He could already see Sam's best bitch-face at the new nickname in his mind. He smiled and made a mental note to frequently use that name from now on, just because it would annoy the hell out of his little brother. Having done this he quickly ate his food and then hurried back to the hospital to see Cas and to hear what the doctor had said.

Cas had just finished eating breakfast as well and was struggling to set the tray on his bedside table with one hand when Dean came into the room. He quickly took the tray from Cas and set it aside before settling himself on the bed to finally properly kiss his partner. Cas responded avidly and they kissed for a long time until a small fake cough from the door made Dean reluctantly pull away.

A young, slightly embarrassed looking woman entered the room and picked up the tray. Dean gave her a warm smile in an attempt to make her more comfortable and Cas smiled as well. "Thank you." he told her and the woman nodded and then quickly disappeared without saying a word.

The two looked at each other and then shrugged, which made Cas quietly wince in pain so he quickly stopped doing that. Dean took a moment to really look at him now in the daylight. The bandage around his head was gone which made the bruises on his face stand out even more. And there were bruises visible along his collarbone where the hideous hospital gown had slid off his shoulder. But Cas was smiling and seemed to feel better and that was what was important. The bruises would fade given time.

"How do you feel?" he finally managed to ask.

"Better than yesterday. The doctor will be back later and there is a possibility that I may be released today already." Cas said beaming at Dean.

"Those are great news." Dean replied delightedly.

"What are great news?" came a new voice from the door. Balthazar and Claire had arrived to see how Cas was this morning.

"I might be able to go home today." Cas repeated what he had just told Dean and Claire rushed forward and carefully hugged her brother.

"That really does sound great. I'm happy for you." she said as she moved back to stand next to Balthazar again who nodded in agreement.

The time until the doctor came back passed quickly with Claire talking about the plans she had for the wedding. The three men listened more or less attentively and asked the occasional question or commented on an idea.

Finally the doctor returned to the room to talk to Cas and the rest of them. He told them that Cas' was well enough to go home as long as he had someone to watch him for the next night and to help him out because he wouldn't be able to use his left arm for a few more weeks.

"I can do that." Dean immediately volunteered which made Cas smile widely.

"Very well. I'll get the paperwork." the doctor told them and left.

"For how long?" Balthazar asked very calmly as soon as the doctor was gone. Three pairs of eyes looked at him questioningly.

"Cas told us about Anna." he explained.

Dean didn't know what to say for a moment. Was that what Balthazar had been talking about when he had told him that he had 'heard a lot' about him? He couldn't be sure so he waited for Balthazar to continue talking, which he promptly did.

"Look, I understand when a man appreciates what's good and seizes an opportunity when it lands on his doorstep. But Cas is almost family now and I don't want him to get hurt by you again."

"I didn't… I would never…" Dean started to try and defend himself but Cas quickly came to his aid.

"I know what I told you. But it was just a misunderstanding. I trust Dean and so should you."

Balthazar and Claire stared at Cas for a long moment and seemed to be convinced by his words and by what they saw in his face. They apologized to Dean who accepted that with a curt nod.

"We'll be here for a few more days, so if you two need help with anything just let us know, please." Claire told them and the two of them promised her that they would do that. Then she produced a small bag she had brought with her, which contained some clothes for Cas since his own clothes had been ruined in the crash.

She and Balthazar waited outside while Dean helped Cas get dressed and a few minutes later they met them in the waiting area where they also met the doctor again and thanked him before leaving. They walked to the Impala together where Claire hugged both Cas and Dean and Balthazar shook their hands before they went their separate ways. Dean quickly called Sam to let him know they were coming home and then they finally left.

Cas fell asleep almost as soon as they started driving and Dean decided to not listen to any music so he wouldn't wake him. It was an uneventful drive and Cas slept until the car stopped in front of his house. Dean put his arm around him when they went inside and stayed to help get Cas settled in bed.

Cas could tell that Dean was very tired and he tried to convince him to go home and get some sleep. But Dean wasn't having any of that. The doctor had told him he should stay with Cas for another night and he planned to do that. And not necessarily just this one night. So he sat on the edge of the bed and softly kissed Cas and told him exactly that.

"Doctor's orders. I'll just go home to change clothes and then I'm coming right back." he said and after another kiss quickly went to his apartment. When he returned a little while later Cas was already asleep again and Dean carefully slid into bed next to him, snuggling close to his partner. It didn't take very long until he was asleep as well.


	17. Chapter 17

**I already hinted at this, so without further ado I give you the final part of this story. Enjoy.**

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><p>Not being able to use one arm proved to be a lot of trouble in every day life and Dean spent so much time at Cas' place that he practically moved in without either of them making a conscious decision about this. When finally Cas was allowed to use his arm again a few weeks later Dean just stayed. It felt natural and right and even though he still kept his apartment he was never there anymore.<p>

Gradually Sam had been using his apartment more and more when he wanted to spent time with Jess. The dorm wasn't really that private and after having met her and having seen how much in love Sam and Jess were Dean had gladly allowed them to use the apartment. Now, months later, Sam had moved into the apartment completely. He had just finished getting his stuff there from the dorm room and he and Jess were still dating and it seemed to be something serious.

Dean was very happy that things had worked out so well for both him and Sam and it was also nice to have his brother living so close. They got to see each other much more than before and they had also gone out on a few double dates which had been great fun. It had been a crazy year since he had first met Cas but things had worked out well.

"Good morning." Dean smiled at his lover when Cas finally woke up from the smell of breakfast and slowly sat up in bed with tousled hair and his eyes still almost shut. Dean had already been up for a while preparing breakfast for them, among other things.

"Mornin'." Cas replied sleepily but his mood lifted at once when Dean came over to kiss him properly awake.

"Do you know what day it is?" Dean asked a few minutes and several kisses later, his voice laced with excitement that Cas couldn't place just yet.

"Sure. Today is Claire's wedding. But there is still some time till we have to leave." Cas answered and tried to pull Dean back into bed with him.

"Yes, that too. But there's something else as well." Dean grinned as he resisted Cas' puppy dog eyes with some difficulty. But there was something he wanted to show Cas before they left for the wedding and if he let himself being pulled back to bed for cuddling that certainly wouldn't happen.

He pulled his arm free of Cas' grasp and went back to the kitchen, smiling as he heard the soft footsteps of Cas' bare feet as he followed Dean.

"So what else is today that is so important that made you force me to get out of bed?" Cas asked when he sat down at the table, looking over at Dean who leaned against the counter.

"A year ago today was the college party where we met for the first time." Dean explained and Cas' blue eyes widened at the terror of having forgotten about this. But then he had always assumed they had pretty much forgotten about the events before he had moved into this apartment and invited Dean for the house warming party. And that day's anniversary was still a while away.

"Don't worry about it. I know I agreed to a new start." Dean told him as if he knew what Cas had been thinking, which was probably the case because he was sure his face clearly mirrored his thoughts. Then he picked up a medium sized box and put it on the table in front of Cas.

"Dean, you shouldn't have…" he said, feeling even worse now.

"It's not what you think. Not exactly at least. Open it." Dean encouraged and Cas gingerly lifted the lid off the box. Dean had been right, this was not what he had expected, not that he had really expected anything to begin with. But he could never have expected this because it was self made and absolutely unique, even if the idea for it might not be that unique.

'It' was a wooden board that had a bottle attached to it in the middle, a bottle that could be spun. The board itself was empty at the moment but there were also some laminated sheets of paper that could be attached to it. On those sheets were small fields with directions for certain actions that apparently had to be carried out when the bottle pointed to them. One sheet had funny, crazy actions, one had loving, sweet ones and one had very explicit suggestions. That one was certainly only designed for private use.

Cas smiled as he read everything before getting up to pull Dean into a tight hug.

"I love it." he whispered into his ear and then returned to the table to fix one of the sheets to the board.

"Yeah, since this game really started everything I thought it was a good idea." Dean told him at the same time looking slightly embarrassed and happy that Cas liked his idea. He watched as Cas spun the bottle and then came over to see which option his partner had chosen, smiling when he noticed it was the explicit one.

"I think we should wait to play until after the wedding or we might never make it there." he smiled and Cas agreed with him.

"Yes, we should probably start getting ready since Gabriel will be here soon to pick us up."

And so they ate in comfortable silence until the doorbell rang. Both of them had been looking forward to the wedding for a while but now they were also looking forward to getting back home after the wedding. After sharing another deep kiss they both grabbed their jackets and went outside to meet Gabriel who was already impatiently waiting for them and all three of them left.

~The End~

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><p><strong>Thank you everyone for reading this story and accompanying me on this journey. It has been great fun writing this and every one of you kept me motivated. I couldn't (and probably wouldn't) have done this without you. This is the first, and so far only, AU I have written and even though it started out as just an idea for a one-shot it somehow became the longest story I have published so far. But all good things must come to an end and this is it for this fic. And now, off to new projects :)<br>**


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